Your work BFF just got the promotion you both applied for and you are happy for her, really you are, but you can’t help feeling a little jealous that you didn’t get the job. Being jealous isn’t a good feeling, especially when you are jealous about what a friend or colleague has that you don’t like a larger paycheck, unlimited vacation time, or a more prominent position. But the good news about the lousy feeling is that career envy is a sign of what you want and you can use it as a map to direct your career.
4 Career Envy Scenarios
Your friend got a raise:
You started at almost the same salary, but now she is making 10 percent more than you and that reminds you that you haven’t gotten a significant raise in two years. It’s a good reminder that you should start preparing to ask for a raise of your own. “Start pulling together a list of your accomplishments and prepare for your next performance review or schedule a meeting with your manager if you don’t have a review coming up,” says Romy Newman, co-founder and president of the New York City-based career advice site for women, Fairygodboss. “Be sure to do some research and practice what you’re going to say so you can go into your meeting with confidence,” Newman says. If you don’t get the raise, ask why. If there are things you need to improve to get to the next level, find out and use it to create a game plan. If it’s a budget constraint, it might be time to start looking for new jobs where you, and your paycheck, can grow.
Your friend just got a promotion:
You applied for a senior position in your department and a coworker got the job. She hasn’t been at the company as long as you but she just jumped in front of you in rank. “Talk to your manager and see why you were not chosen. There may be some advice that you get that will make you aware of some blind spots,” says Marietta Gentles Crawford, a New York City-based personal branding and career expert. It might be tough to get critical feedback, but you can use it to make sure you are in good standing the next time a position opens up or to gain skills that would be helpful if you switch departments or companies.
Your friend just networked her way into a great new job:
You would rather have to work all weekend than go to a networking event, but you’re starting to see the merit now that your friend landed a job because of someone she met at an event. “Start working on expanding and improving your network,” says Newman. Research industry events, conferences, and alumni events where you might meet valuable connections. “Having a strong network can help you grow professionally, open up great opportunities for you at work, and even introduce you to new opportunities in the future,” says Newman.
Your friend got an exciting new job:
Your coworker is off to a cool company and your favorite thing about your job was taking coffee and lunch breaks together. You are bored with your job but you haven’t put in the work to make a switch yet and now you have major career envy. “Use her change as an opportunity to ask yourself what role would make you happy,” says Crawford, “Turn the jealousy into inspiration to start thinking more about what you’d like to do to be fulfilled and challenged, rather than what feels safe and comfortable.” Get ready to pull an Ariana Grande and say thank you, next.