We didn’t get into a fight. There wasn’t a teary conversation, a ‘conscious uncoupling,’ or really even closure. In that way, it was probably as anticlimactic as the end of a close friendship can be. So what happened? There were a lot of small signs that we viewed friendship differently and that the friendship wasn’t as close as I had thought.

Some friendships are simply based on enjoying spending time together. You can have inside jokes that no one else finds funny, go out for long dinners until the restaurant closes, have someone to text your totally random thoughts to, have movie nights with, or explore a new city. And that’s all great — but there’s a line between a close friendship and one that’s fun but surface-level. I’ve found that trust is the main differentiating factor. Without it, a strong friendship’s foundation erodes and an emotional wall is built.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of reasons trust can fade. Maybe you hear them say mean or untrue things about other friends and you know they likely say the same about you, they say hurtful things because they know you well enough to know what will hurt the most, or those private things you shared in confidence weren’t kept confidential.

If you’re going to have a breakup conversation, schedule time for an in-person conversation in a private place, says Amina Shea Tinsley, a New York-based psychotherapist. (If you’re not in the same city, you can do it over the phone, but don’t send a breakup text, please.) Write down what you want to say in advance — you don’t have to stick to the script, but it is helpful to prepare before a tough conversation. Include the benefits of the breakup and avoid blaming your friend.

“Remain civil during the breakup discussion. Explosive anger and shouting matches will make you appear unstable and make it easier for your friend to dismiss your concerns as irrational,” says Tinsley. “You want to appear thoughtful and calm so you present yourself as an ally who wants the best for your friend.”

Listen to their side and have a compassionate conversation instead of a soliloquy.

You could have dozens of surface-level friendships — and it’s likely you did in high school and college — but close friendships are harder to come by and much more valuable. They are the people you know will always be there for you — no matter the severity of the situation or the time of day. It may sound like something from a Hallmark card, but they elevate you, energize you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself — and you do the same for them.

They are the first people you text or call to share good news, bad news, or just random updates from your day-to-day life. (Like that disastrous — but kind of comical — first date you went on.) They know what to say to cheer you up and when to share advice or just listen.

It’s incredibly sad when a friendship ends or changes. You care about the person and miss them.

“Give yourself the freedom to process, grieve, and heal just as you would a romantic relationship,” says Melanie Ross Mills, a Texas-based therapist and author of The Friendship Bond: Creating Bonds That Last.

It’s inevitable that you are going to miss the person and think about them often, especially at first. You may think of them when you pass that restaurant you always used to go to, see something you know they’d love, or wonder what their advice would be for something you’re going through. When that happens and you really want to pick up the phone to call or text, remind yourself why things ended, says Mills.

Stay busy and surround yourself with your close friends. Focus on strengthening those relationships and being a thoughtful and supportive friend.

When a romantic relationship ends, you open yourself up to finding a relationship that’s better for both of you. It’s the same thing for friendship.

“You’ll see what friends are brought into your life because you have not only opened up your heart space for the next friendship, but you’ve also recognized that there’s a big difference between the fun, ‘good time’ friend versus the purposeful, trustworthy friend,” says Mills.

When you’re feeling sad, think about the positive things about your friendship. The ending doesn’t erase the good memories, and you’ve learned about the type of friendships you want to cultivate and the type of friend you want to be.

I slowly remembered the memories and felt happy about the friendship we had instead of only being sad about how it ended. In the case of romantic relationships and friendships, time (and Ben & Jerry’s) cures a broken heart.

The post Why Friend Breakups Can Hurt More Than Romantic Ones appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

“Managing up means to make your supervisor’s life easier and taking care of things in her professional life that will facilitate her job-related duties,” says Jason Patel, founder of the college and career coaching company Transizion.

By being dependable and proactive, you can make yourself indispensable to your boss, that goes a long way when it’s time for a promotion. “A good working relationship can accelerate your success—and a bad relationship can hinder your success,” says Mary Abbajay, co-founder and president of the professional development company Careerstone Group and author of Managing Up: How to Move Up, Win at Work, and Succeed with Any Type of Boss.

“Your boss has a lot of influence over the projects, people, and positioning that come your way; your relationship with her, and her experience with you, will determine the kinds of opportunities available to you in your organization,” according to Abbajay.

So how do you master managing up? I spoke to career experts to deliver the do’s and don’ts you need to know.

Do become a mind reader

Spend time figuring out your boss’s likes and dislikes so you can anticipate her needs in advance and stay on her good side. “You need to put in some work with your supervisor before managing up because you need to know more about their needs, habits, schedule, and duties,” says Patel. “Going in cold turkey is a recipe for disaster. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Don’t overstep

There’s an art to managing up. Though your intentions are well-meaning, you must avoid overstepping any boundaries or making it seem like you’re vying for your boss’s position. “Most bosses don’t like when reports get too close because it decreases their authority, and it’s never good when a boss has to step in to enforce his boundaries of authority,” says Lucio Buffalmano, founder of the social dynamics resource The Power Moves.

“Show you see him as a normal human being, but that you also respect his authority position,” he says. Come up with ways to make your boss’s job easier, but ask first. You could say something like, “I know you have a lot to do to prepare for the big meeting next week. Would you like me to help design the presentation?”

Do provide value

Ask not what your boss can do for you, ask what you can do for your boss. “When you manage up, be sure to create value for your boss,” says Andrea Palten, founder of the Denver-based life and business coaching firm Success Coaching. For example, if your boss has a big presentation to give and you know she doesn’t like designing the slides, offer to create it for her, she says.

“Managing up is a big part of showing that you’re ready for the big time or a major step up in job duties,” says Patel. “If you’re able to handle duties or facilitate your supervisor’s life, it shows her, and others in the know, that you’re capable of putting on many hats and playing multiple pivotal roles.”

Don’t drop the ball

You have more work to manage when you manage up. Be honest with yourself about your workload so you don’t overextend yourself. You also may not have all the skills you need yet, and that’s okay. Taking on new assignments is a great way to learn, but don’t be afraid to ask for help from your manager.

“If human relationships are built on trust, managing up poorly is a great way to expose your weaknesses and have no one ask you for help in the future,” says Patel. “If you manage up, do it well and focus on putting your best foot forward. You don’t want to take on extra work or perform a role above your pay grade, only to do a bad job and have your superiors avoid letting you step up next time the team needs you.”

Do communicate

Unless it involves cake and balloons, bosses normally don’t like surprises. You don’t want to spend a month working on something you think your boss will love only to find out that it’s not something they want or need. Part of your boss’s job is managing you and how you spend your time, so make sure she approves your projects in advance.

“When managing up, it’s important to communicate before it’s absolutely necessary. Sometimes this means telling your boss your plans months in advance—whatever you need to do to set clear expectations and then exceed them,” says Alex Robinson, a human resources manager at Team Building Hero.

Don’t stress out

Remember that it’s okay if you aren’t the best at something immediately. “A good supervisor won’t hold it against you if you have a tough time managing up at first. You’re human. You make mistakes and don’t know everything, so it’s important to keep your head up and continue learning,” says Patel. If your boss is overly critical or you realize that despite your best efforts, you can’t impress them, then it’s time to manage your career and look for a new opportunity.

The post The Do’s and Don’ts of Managing Up appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

When to use an elevator pitch: 

You can use your elevator pitch when interviewers ask you to “Tell me about yourself.” You can also use it when people inevitably ask you, “So, what do you do?”

If you don’t have an elevator pitch ready, you might be tempted to ramble about everything from where you grew up to a laundry list of your favorite hobbies. After you learn how to create an elevator pitch, you’ll be able to give a poised answer that makes a lasting impression. You’ll impress interviewers and people who might be able to make invaluable connections throughout your job search and career.

When interviewing or speaking to someone from a specific company, tailor your elevator pitch for the job and company. Otherwise, you can use the same general elevator pitch whether you’re at Thanksgiving dinner or a crowded networking event.

How to create your elevator pitch:

Now that you know the benefits of having an elevator pitch, you’re ready to make your own using our elevator pitch examples. Here’s a step-by-step guide to crafting an effective elevator pitch that will make a strong impression.

Step 1: Include one sentence about your background: Start with a brief introduction that provides a snapshot of your professional background. This helps to establish context and gives the listener an idea of who you are.

Example: “I’m the editor-in-chief of the popular professional and personal development site, Elana Lyn.” 

Step 2: Mention a big accomplishment: Highlight a significant achievement that showcases your capabilities and sets you apart. This will grab attention and demonstrate your ability to deliver results. It’s beneficial to include metrics to show your accomplishments.

Example: “I am proud that more than 100,000 people read Elana Lyn each month.” 

Step 3: Highlight a few of your top skills: Mention two to three key skills relevant to the position or field you’re interested in. These skills should align with the job you are seeking and reflect your strengths.

Example: “I excel at writing, editing, and search engine optimization.”

Step 4: Share what you’re looking for in your career: Clearly state your career goals and what you’re looking for in your next role. This helps the listener understand your aspirations.

Example: “I am excited to continue strengthening my skills as an editor at [Company Name].”

Step 5: Explain the value you’ll provide to a company: End by explaining how you can add value to the company. This should summarize why they should be interested in you and what you bring to the table.

Example: “I’m confident that I can use my writing, editing, and content marketing skills to create engaging content and increase traffic.”

After combining all the elements, your elevator pitch would be:

“I’m the editor-in-chief of the popular professional and personal development site, Elana Lyn. I am proud that more than 100,000 people read Elana Lyn each month. I excel at writing, editing, and search engine optimization. I am excited to continue strengthening my skills as an editor at [Company Name]. I’m confident that I can use my writing, editing, and content marketing skills to create engaging content and increase traffic.”

• Keep it short. Aim for about 30-60 seconds, or around 150-250 words.
• Be clear and specific. Avoid jargon and be straightforward about your achievements and goals.
• Practice. Rehearse your pitch until you can deliver it confidently.
• Adapt. Be ready to tailor your pitch to different audiences.

The post How to Create an Elevator Pitch That Actually Works appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

“A career manifesto is essentially a guiding principle that you use throughout your professional life,” says Terra Brown, an Arkansas-based writer for Earn Spend Live, a personal finance and career advice site. “When it comes to being successful, both long and short term, a career manifesto helps you first by giving you your own personal take on what being successful means.”

Visualize your ideal career:

It’s time for some major self-reflection. “A career manifesto is a combination of your personal mission, purpose, vocation, and passion,” explains Kendra Davies, founder of the Orlando-based life coaching firm Stellar Life Coaching. “It is an intentional and clear vision about your career goals, what matters most to you, what you want your life to look like, and how you want to feel.”

So, before you get there, you need to decide what your vision looks like. Since a manifesto is more about values than practical benefits or job descriptions, ask yourself some key questions that you can answer no matter what field you’re in: What brings you joy, peace, and satisfaction at work? What makes you happiest? Working with others? Being in nature? Hitting deadlines? Having personal freedom?

After asking yourself those broad questions, you may begin to have a better picture of what you want to do. That’s one way your career manifesto can help you to manifest your ideal job.

Create your career mission statement:

“The main benefit—both short-term and long-term—of having a career manifesto is that it is much easier to create a roadmap for success once you have identified your destination,” says Christina Austin, founder of the New York City-based career coaching and branding firm ExecBrands LLC. And a great place to start is by writing a career mission statement.

Your personal career mission statement should take into account your passion, your values, your definition of success, and your unique talent. For example, your mission statement could be something like: “My mission is to write content that helps women feel more confident in their personal and professional lives.” In this case, your definition of success isn’t about making six figures or getting promoted to partner at a law firm. It’s about the value you provide through the work you do.

Find your five words:

While a mission statement can help you focus on your values and goals, you can boil that down even further to the five keywords that define your career aspirations, says Kate Gremillion, founder of New Orleans-based career consulting firm Mavenly + Co.

“My mission statement is to help women design a career and lifestyle with purpose,” says Gremillion. She also says a great exercise to help you form your career manifesto is to come up with five words that you want people to associate with you like clarity, purpose, connection, design, and thoughtfulness so you can make sure to embody them daily. Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror and keep a list of those words on your desk so you have a daily reminder of your career manifesto.

Use it as a litmus test:

A career manifesto enables you to be intentional about your career says Angelina Darrisaw, founder of the New York City-based career coaching firm C-Suite Coach. But only if you use it. When you are presented with an opportunity, be sure to refer back to your career manifesto to make sure it aligns with your goals and values.

“A career manifesto will help remind you of individual career needs and get you unstuck when those opportunities come about,” says Darrisaw. “You don’t want to look back and be clueless as to why you made the decisions you did and why are you here. Move with intention and you won’t be in that position.”

The post How to Write a Career Manifesto appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

But experiencing depression at work isn’t exactly remarkable, right? Better learn to suck it up and deal, right? Not exactly. There’s a definite difference between regular ol’ workplace stress—a big presentation, a client’s disapproval, a heavy workload—and actual depression.

When you experience persistent, troubling feelings that won’t go away no matter what you do, and those feelings interfere with all areas of your life, it’s important to get support. You’d hardly be alone. According to a Monster survey of 1,000 full-time and part-time employees in the United States, many employees have experienced depression (24%) and physical illness (12%) as a result of their job; 34% said their job negatively affects their mental health.

Depression can be debilitating, so it’s not surprising that it can impact your experiences at work. A survey by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) asked people which aspects of their jobs were affected by anxiety and depression. The results:

• workplace performance (56%)
• relationship with co-workers and peers (51%)
• quality of work (50%)
• relationships with superiors (43%)

Mental illness is one of the top causes of worker disability in the U.S., with 62% of missed workdays attributed to mental health conditions. Of people working with mental illness, 66% have been diagnosed with depression.

The last thing you need is for your job stability or your boss’s perception of you to suffer when you are suffering. So if you’re feeling like depression is affecting your work and hindering your relationships with co-workers, try these coping strategies.

Start by talking to a mental health professional:

A therapist can help you develop a treatment plan, such as weekly talk therapy or medicine. But even looking for someone to see can be a tough first step when depression at work already has you in its grips. In that instance, participating in your company’s employee assistance program (EAP), if there is one, can help.

An EAP is a confidential, employer-sponsored program to address mental health concerns including depression, anxiety, stress, emotional wellness, bereavement, grief and loss, substance abuse and addiction, family and relationship issues, and other personal concerns. Employees typically have access to three to six free sessions—where the clinician offers assessment, short-term problem resolution, and referrals to additional resources.

If your company doesn’t have an EAP, you can find lots of resources online. For example, the ADAA has a ”find help” section of its site, and the National Institute of Mental Health is another great source of information on workplace depression.

Talk to your boss or HR:

Even though so many people say depression interferes with work performance, few disclose it to their employer. People likely don’t speak up and ask for help because there is still a stigma around it. Mental health discrimination at work unfortunately discourages open dialogue. People may be worried that they will be viewed as incapable of doing their job and could be let go as a result of asking for help. But depending upon the severity of your symptoms, you may want to make certain people at work aware of your situation.

If you need to take a mental health day here or there, you can use a sick day or paid time off without providing a detailed explanation about your reason. However, if your condition is starting to interfere with your ability to do your job, consider speaking with your boss (who has more of an impact on your work responsibilities than HR). If your conversation with your boss does not yield any results, you can then turn to HR.

For example, if you’re working on a particularly difficult project that is causing you to feel anxious or depressed, you might want to let your manager know you need help so that he/she can delegate some of the responsibilities to your co-workers. You might say, “I want to deliver excellent results, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. It would be very helpful if I could work on this project with a few more people. Who on our team do you think could be a good fit?”

If you need to take a leave of absence or accommodations to your workspace, a simple statement like, “I have a medical condition that requires an extended leave,” or, “I have a medical condition that requires I work in an area with natural sunlight,” should suffice for HR or management. Note that you may need to provide additional documentation from a doctor or clinician.

Create coping mechanisms for dealing with depression at work:

Taking care of yourself and developing coping mechanisms can help you throughout the workday. A professional can help you develop specific strategies for your symptoms.

Take short breaks during the workday—go for a walk and cry if you feel the need, call a friend or family member, or simply take some time to yourself. It’s also important not to isolate yourself, which is something depression can compel you to do. Reach out to co-workers and make a concerted effort to be engaged, rather than closing yourself off.

Maintaining healthy habits such as eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and spending time with friends and family. Try to make plans three to four nights a week—even if it’s something as simple as a quick phone call—so that you always have someone to talk to after a draining day. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can make it especially challenging to get through even the normal routines of a workday, but a strong support system—at home and work—can help you push through the tough times.

The post How to Cope With Depression at Work appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Unfortunately, there may have been factors out of your control. For example, the position could have been filled internally or given to someone further along in the hiring process. You can control how you respond, reflect, and remain resilient so you can focus on doing your best throughout the rest of the job search process. As hard as it may seem, viewing rejection as redirection and a valuable learning experience is in your best interest. 

Ask for feedback:

Even though you might want to delete the dreaded rejection email, it can be beneficial to respond. Your response shows your maturity, continued interest in the company, and dedication to personal and professional growth. 

You can say something short like:

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me and share more about [Company Name]. I enjoyed learning about the role, team, and company. I would greatly appreciate any feedback you can provide. I hope to stay in touch and be considered for future openings. I will continue to check for relevant job postings. Thank you again for interviewing me. 

It’s possible the hiring manager won’t provide feedback because it may be seen as a liability or they are swamped. Still, it’s worthwhile to ask because their constructive criticism could be a beneficial way to harness job search rejection. As Pamela Weinberg, a New York City-based career coach says, “Feedback is a great way to use job search rejection to your advantage.” 

Reflect on the experience:

Give yourself some time to feel sad — and maybe indulge in some Ben & Jerry’s — then take some time to analyze the experience. Even though it’s hard, try your best to be objective or ask a close friend, family member, or mentor for feedback. 

“Reflect back on the process and see what you might do differently next time to affect a different outcome, such as finding people to network with within the company before or during the application process or practicing your interview skills,” says Weinberg. View the experience as a learning opportunity that will make you an even better candidate the next time around.

Donna L. Sellers, a certified life and career coach recommends asking yourself three insightful questions:

-What did I do well in the process?
-What did I learn about myself, the company culture, or the industry?
-What will I think about this situation five years from now?

The first two questions will help you interpret and evaluate your performance and the types of jobs and companies you’re applying to. The last enables you to stay positive and resilient. “Shift your perspective and you’ll see that the rejection shifts, too,” says Sellers.

But don’t get stuck on a case of the “coulda woulda shoulda.” You never know exactly how the hiring decision was made. Keep in mind that there could have been someone with more years of experience or a strong recommendation from someone at the company.

Stay positive: 

The job search process is a lot of work and rejection is difficult whether you get a form rejection email without being asked to interview or you’ve gotten to the final round of job interviews. Kevin Grubbs, executive director of the Villanova University Career Center, recommends combatting negative emotions by focusing on self-care. Make time each day to do things you enjoy and might not be able to do in the middle of the day if you were working full-time. For example, go for a mid-day run, curl up and watch a movie, or meet a friend for lunch. These breaks will help you feel happier and more resilient so you can weather the rejection better and keep moving forward.

“Getting back into a space of positivity will help in big ways when you approach the next opportunity. The good news about doing this is that learning how to rebound from tough times effectively will build your resilience, a quality employers look for in their next hires,” Grubb says.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that job search rejection stinks. However, you can use it to become a better candidate and say thank you, next.

The post How to Deal With Job Rejection appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

You hear the words no one ever wants to hear: “We have to let you go.” You’re half listening and half freaking out internally when they tell you that they no longer need your position and that today will be your last day with the company. They explain that they are grateful for the accomplishments you’ve had throughout your time at the company, that they are happy to be a reference during your search, and that they’ve prepared a severance package. 

You know that you can negotiate your starting salary and raises, but did you know that you can also negotiate severance? You probably want to sign on the dotted line and get the heck out of the claustrophobic conference room, but it’s not recommended. “In the heat of the moment it may be tempting to simply sign and receive a check, but it’s in your best interest to have a legal professional look over it before signing,” says Patrick Colvin, a New York-based strategic human resources business partner at USA Today Network. I talked to career experts to find out their advice for negotiating your severance agreement.

Review the agreement carefully:

To decide how to negotiate severance, you have to read the agreement and find out exactly what you would be agreeing to in exchange for your severance. “It’s important to understand that receiving severance typically depends on you signing an agreement,” cautions Colvin, adding that you may fortify certain rights like the ability to work for certain employers for a specific time or the ability to disclose the terms of the agreement. You can add, remove, or edit clauses from the document such as adjusting the non-compete specifications. “The thing to keep in mind is that it is a ‘this’ for ‘that’ type of situation so everything is fair game to negotiate. The company is providing ‘this’ in exchange for ‘that,’ which is your signature,” says Colvin. 

Decide what you are asking for:

As with any negotiation, you have to come to the table knowing your desired outcome. You can negotiate the size of your severance check, but there are other things you can negotiate to help you during your unexpected job search. “Some of the more obvious elements to negotiate are more cash in the form of a lump sum or extension of salary, insurance coverage, and pay for unused sick and vacation days,” says Avery Roth, founder of the New York-based career coaching firm Change@Work. But she also recommends asking the company to pay for career coaching sessions, set you up with an employee outplacement firm, or provide a positive recommendation to future employees.

Lead with your accomplishments:

When you get laid off, it’s not because you did anything wrong. The company may be eliminating positions because their margins were low, they may be reorganizing and getting rid of a department, or they may be strapped for cash because they just lost a few big clients. You have more bartering power to negotiate severance than you would if you were fired for cause. “Remind them of all of your accomplishments and all of the contributions that you’ve made,” says Alexandra Dickinson, founder of the New York-based negotiation coaching firm, Ask For It. “You can always ask. But back it up with how strong your performance has been.” 

The post How to Negotiate Severance appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Layoffs typically happen because the company is making changes, such as restructuring the team, cutting the budget, or merging with another company. Unfortunately, even though you’ve done nothing wrong and you’ve been reassured it’s not performance-based, a layoff can still plummet your self-esteem. Take a deep breath and use these strategies to help you feel better so you can focus on getting excited for your next opportunity.

Take time off to focus on self-care:

“Even though your first thought may be to scour the job sites all day every day until you land your next job, make sure to pencil in some quality self-care time into your schedule, too,” says  Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim, a Florida-based organizational psychologist. She recommends sleeping in, reading a good book, or getting together with friends. “Take this unplanned time off to rest up physically, emotionally, and mentally. That way, you will be most prepared to put your best foot forward during your next interview,” Hakim adds.

Focus on your accomplishments:

Boost your self-esteem by reflecting on everything you accomplished. Hakim recommends updating your resume to include your accomplishments. “In addition to showing a prospective employer what you’ve accomplished, this activity will also help you remember how much you did at your previous job. Feel proud of your contributions and of the relationships you made,” she says. 

Reach out to your network:

Losing your job can feel isolating. Deena Baikowitz, a New York-based networking coach at Fireball Network suggests surrounding yourself with people who know you well. “Your friends can help you articulate and promote the unique strengths and talents you offer. Ask them to remind you and encourage you as much as you need to, so you can stay focused, motivated, and positive,” she says. 

Also, contact people who can help you find your next role. Baikowitz recommends attending networking events and career development workshops and telling people you’re looking for a new job. “Indicate your dream job title, role, type of company, industry, and location,” she says, “By focusing on moving forward and being productive, you’ll be looking forward to your next awesome job, instead of staying stuck in the past.” 

Connect with experts: 

In addition to connecting with your network, consider speaking to a career coach or mental health professional. If your company offers outplacement services, including access to a career coach and free resume and cover letter reviews, sign up. 

If you feel depressed, reach out to a mental health professional who can help you feel better. One of your first moves after being laid off should be to sign up for health insurance. You can find a plan through the government’s Health Insurance Marketplace or sign up for the same coverage through COBRA. 

The post How to Cope With Being Laid Off appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

But then you remember that — newsflash — you’ve got to find a job. You have to read job ads, write cover letters, customize your résumé, and go on job interviews. Plus you have to deal with rejection — or being ghosted — over and over again. Having to face the hard facts can be daunting.

“The best ways to stay positive and proactive is to know exactly what you want to do next in your career, and to have a system,” says Adunola Adeshola, founder of the career advice website employeeREDIFINED. I spoke with career experts to share their advice on making the most of this downtime and becoming an even better job candidate.

Stick to a schedule:

“The best way to stay positive and productive when you’re between jobs is to consider your job search your full-time job,” says Alison Doyle, a job-search expert at the New York City-based personal finance site The Balance. “Even though you’re out of work and may be stressed, your job search will be more effective if you have balance in your life.”

Doyle says to create a schedule for your job-hunting activities like networking, applying to jobs online, and following up on applications and interviews. Although you could spend all day applying for jobs, make sure you take care of yourself. Make a list of activities that make you happy like running, cooking, trying new coffee shops, and watching TV. Carving out time to do things you enjoy will help you stay positive when you’re unemployed.

Rely on your support network:

“When you’re between jobs, the stress of frequent rejection or not getting enough callbacks can wear you down after a while,” says Angelina Darrisaw, founder of the New York City-based career-coaching firm C-Suite Coach. “It helps a great deal if you are not internalizing that stress and dealing with it alone.”

Your friends, family, and professional contacts can provide the advice and encouragement you need to stay positive while you’re unemployed. And they can also provide connections to new opportunities through networking. Tell people what you’re looking for; they may know someone who can help. You never know who your cousin’s husband’s best friend is and how he can introduce you to his sister-in-law’s brother who works at one of your dream companies.

Tap your professional resources:

If you are unemployed because you were laid off, Darrisaw recommends asking your previous HR team if they can provide resources, such as a few sessions with a career coach, to help you navigate the job search process. Also, ask your manager, direct reports, and close colleagues if they’ll write you a short LinkedIn recommendation and serve as a reference.

“If you are between jobs for another reason, find someone who has been in the same place before,” says Darrisaw. “It will help to know that what you are going through is totally par for the course and to hear from others who have been there.”

Set specific goals:

“Don’t just say that you will search for jobs from noon to four,” says Dr. Amy Cooper Hakim, a Palm Beach-based organizational psychologist. “Rather, give yourself specific goals that are measurable and attainable. Reward yourself when you meet your daily and weekly goals.”

One day your goal might be to find three jobs you’re interested in, customize your résumé for each job, and write your cover letters. The next day you might want to go on an informational interview, attend a networking event, and get coffee with a mentor.

Think about your long-term goals as well. Adeshola recommends considering why you left your last job (and any previous ones) and what you want next. For example, you could ask yourself:

• What job responsibilities do I want to have?
• What job titles am I targeting?
• What is my ideal company culture?
• What is my goal salary range?
• What benefits do I want to have?

“Knowing the answers to these questions will give you the direction you need to stay focused, positive, and proactive,” says Adeshola.

Develop new skills:

“When you get rejected, learn from it. If the company doesn’t hire you, you might as well learn why,” says Hakim. “That way, you can make any necessary tweaks to your résumé or gain some additional experience.” So if you can, ask for feedback, even when you don’t land a job. That way, you’ll be positioned for self-improvement.

“It’s very rare to have a block of time off in our adult lives,” says Pamela Weinberg, a New York City-based career coach, “so use the time to gain some new skills that can help you in your next job, or to learn something you’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t had the time.”

Read job descriptions to find out what your target companies are looking for — coding, grant writing, or knowledge of specific tools — and use the time you’re unemployed to acquire those skills. Take free classes and certification programs to learn new skills. You’ll feel more positive and confident, and it will shine through on your application.

The post How to Stay Positive When You’re Unemployed appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.