I’m making a list of everything I want to save so we don’t miss anything. When in doubt, I’d save something and decide what to do with it later. You can always throw away a menu or cork a few weeks after the wedding. You can’t get it back once the reception has been cleaned up. If you’re also wondering what to save from your wedding, here are some sentimental wedding keepsakes I hope you’ll be glad you saved.

Save Your Wedding Flowers

I love flowers and knew I’d want to save my wedding bouquet, but I didn’t realize just how many wedding flower keepsake ideas there are now. You can have your wedding bouquet professionally pressed and framed, dried and displayed, or preserved in resin. I’ve seen companies turn wedding flowers into jewelry boxes, jewelry dishes, vases, trays, bookends, and other home decor. If you’re crafty, you can find great DIY tutorials. Also consider preserving other flowers like your partner’s boutonniere, a corsage, or flowers from your chuppah, ceremony arch, or sweetheart table.

If you know you want to preserve your wedding flowers, research your options before the wedding. Depending on the preservation method, you may need to ship or drop off your bouquet shortly after the wedding.

Save Your Wedding Invitation and Other Paper Goods

Set aside at least one pristine copy of your entire invitation suite before you send out your invitations. I registered for a double frame so we can frame a wedding photo on one side and our invitation on the other, but I’ve also found more unique ideas. For example, you can frame your entire invitation suite together, frame your invitation and pressed flowers, have an artist create a custom art piece, or make an invitation tray.

Don’t forget about other paper goods. I want to save our menu and place cards, but you can also save extras like customized napkins or coasters. These are the kinds of little things that could get cleared away before you think to grab them.

Save Your Wedding Cards

I want to save all of our wedding cards and use CardKive to turn them into a book. Instead of having dozens of individual cards sitting in a box, you’ll have one book you can easily pull out and flip through. This way, you can keep everyone’s original handwriting and messages without having loose cards in a drawer or shoebox.

Save Fabric From Your Wedding Dress Alterations

This is one of the sentimental wedding keepsake ideas I never would have thought of on my own. Ask your seamstress to give you any usable fabric, lace, or appliqués removed during your wedding dress alterations.

You can repurpose the leftover material. I’ve seen people add wedding dress fabric or appliqués to personalized sweatshirts, but you could also eventually use the material to create a handkerchief, tie, clutch, framed artwork, or another family keepsake. I love the idea of getting a piece of my dress sewn onto my fiancé’s wedding tie or suit.

Save the Shattered Glass From a Jewish Wedding Ceremony

One of the wedding keepsakes we’re already planning for is the shattered glass from our Jewish wedding ceremony. We’re planning to have the glass made into a mezuzah for our home. I love the idea of turning something from the actual wedding ceremony into something that will become part of our life together afterward.

Broken wedding glass can also be incorporated into other Judaica, artwork, jewelry, or decorative pieces. If you want to repurpose yours, make sure someone is responsible for collecting the pieces and keeping them safe after the ceremony.

Save a Slice of Your Wedding Cake

It’s a tradition to save the top tier or a slice of your wedding cake and eat it on your first anniversary. If you want to do this, make sure your wedding planner, caterer, or venue knows ahead of time so the cake gets packed up rather than thrown away at the end of the night. Wrap and freeze it properly when you get home so you can enjoy it a year later.

Save Your Vows and Speeches

If you write your own vows, save your vow books. I also love the idea of getting wedding vow art that you can display somewhere private like your bedroom.

I wouldn’t have thought of this before doing some research, but ask family members or friends who give a toast to send you a copy. You’ll cherish it forever.

Save the Little Personalized Details

You spend months choosing little details for your wedding. Save one personalized cocktail napkin, favor, coaster, menu, kippot, or other custom item you particularly love. You don’t need to take home a lifetime supply—just set aside one or two before the wedding so you’re not searching for them at the end of the reception.

Don’t forget to make sure someone brings home your guest book, too, especially if you’re doing an alternative guest book with individual notes, Polaroids, or other pieces that could easily get left behind.

Save Digital Mementos

Not all wedding memory keepsakes have to be physical.

Before you take down your wedding website, save screenshots or PDFs of the pages you want to remember. After the wedding, you can also create a shared album where friends and family can upload their pictures and videos. Your photographer will capture the important moments, but guests may have funny, candid photos and videos that you’ll want to keep too.

At my cousin’s wedding in the ’90s, she had a Polaroid camera on every table so guests could take photos. I think we’ll print a few QR codes at the wedding and invite guests to upload their photos to a shared album.

Save Your Wedding Signage

You probably don’t need a giant welcome sign or seating chart sitting in your house or apartment forever, but you may want to save smaller signs, especially if they include your names, wedding date, monogram, crest, venue illustration, or another custom design. You may be able to repurpose a sign into artwork for your home. At the very least, take good photos of larger custom pieces before you get rid of them.

The post Sentimental Wedding Keepsakes: Things I’m Saving From Our Wedding appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

What Is Silver Mirror Facial Bar?

Silver Mirror Facial Bar offers customized skincare treatments based on your skin needs and goals. They have different 30-, 50-, and 90-minute facials, including treatments geared toward acne, anti-aging, brightening, hydration, and sensitive skin. They also offer add-ons, including treatments I keep seeing all over TikTok, like hydradermabrasion, lymphatic drainage, and dermaplaning.

My Silver Mirror Facial Experience

I booked an Esthetician’s Choice Facial with the esthetician who had answered my laundry list of questions. When I got to the appointment, I filled out detailed paperwork about my goals, allergens, and current skincare routine, and then the esthetician greeted me at the front desk. I was flattered that she remembered me and my skincare goals and had already made sure none of the skincare products contained my allergens.

I chose the Esthetician’s Choice Facial so she could look at my skin and decide what would be the best course of action. The treatment included steam, extractions, LED light therapy, microcurrent, a lymphatic drainage massage, and an oxygen treatment all in just 50 minutes.

Talea also explained each step and all the skincare products she used and answered more of my questions about the products she’d recommend for my skin, like azelaic acid and sulfur for clogged pores and acne. I liked getting another perspective on my skincare routine. There are so many products and treatments marketed as things we need that it can be helpful to have someone actually look at your skin and make personalized recommendations.

What Is a Silver Mirror Facial Membership?

I was so impressed with my facial that I left as a Silver Mirror member. There are three membership tiers. You can get a 30-minute facial, 50-minute facial, or 90-minute facial once a month. You get 20% off facials, add-ons, and Silver Mirror products, along with other perks.

The monthly membership cost is $99 a month, $139 a month, and $199 a month, respectively. It’s definitely an investment, but the monthly price is less than many higher-end facials and significantly less than some more advanced treatments like HydraFacials or microneedling. I decided to treat myself during my “Bridal Era,” and I wouldn’t be surprised if I decide to continue long after the wedding day.

Is Silver Mirror Worth It?

Silver Mirror is worth it for my current skincare goals. I want my skin to look clear and glowy for the wedding. One facial isn’t going to completely transform your skin, but I left the treatment already looking more hydrated and glowy. I had some clogged pores and acne before the facial and a few breakouts afterward, which cleared within the week. Now my skin feels and looks good.

I’m also more confident about my “Bridal Skin Prep” routine. I’m excited to try other services like the Hyperpigmentation Facial and Anti-Aging Facial, but I love having the option to book the Esthetician’s Choice Facial so an expert can look at my skin and decide what would be best. I’d also like to explore add-ons like hydradermabrasion, the Eye Puff Minimizer, and a Custom Jelly Mask.

This isn’t a typical spa experience where you lounge all day in a fluffy robe and slippers, but it’s efficient, customized, and, for the treatments included, relatively affordable compared with many traditional spa or dermatology treatments. I’m excited to go back.

Thinking about trying Silver Mirror? Full disclosure: I’ll receive a referral credit if you sign up using my referral code, but I paid for my own membership and this review is not sponsored. You can get $30 off your first facial when you book using the code.

The post Silver Mirror Facial Bar Review: My Honest Experience appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Before you know it, weeks—or even months—have passed, and it’s difficult to remember your biggest accomplishments, the projects you enjoyed most, or even the positive feedback you’ve received.

That’s where a work journal comes in.

Whether you’re hoping to earn a promotion, prepare for a performance review, feel more fulfilled at work, or simply become more intentional about your career, keeping a work journal can help you recognize patterns, celebrate wins, and make thoughtful decisions about your professional growth.

How to Keep a Work Journal

Think of a work journal the same way you think of a personal journal or diary. Instead of reflecting on your personal life, you’ll focus on your professional life.

Your journal doesn’t need to be polished or perfectly written. Simply open a notebook, document, or note-taking app and write about your day or week. Some people prefer journaling for a few minutes every afternoon, while others schedule time every Friday to reflect on the week.

You might write about an exciting new project, a challenge you’re trying to solve, a conversation with your manager, or something you’re proud to have accomplished.

If you’re not sure where to begin, consider reflecting on topics such as:

• Your short-term goals for the day or week
• Your accomplishments
• Challenges or frustrations you experienced
• Lessons you learned
• Your long-term goals for the month, quarter, or year
• Your overall job satisfaction and ways you can improve it
• Skills you’d like to develop
• Feedback you received from your manager or coworkers

Remember, your work journal is for you. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. The goal is simply to create a consistent habit of reflecting on your career.

Benefits of Keeping a Work Journal

Taking a few minutes to reflect on your work can have a surprisingly big impact over time. Instead of rushing from one task to the next, you’ll create space to recognize your accomplishments, identify opportunities for growth, and make more intentional career decisions.

Keeping a work journal can help you:

• Track accomplishments for performance reviews and promotions
• Remember positive feedback from your manager and coworkers
• Build stronger resume bullet points and interview examples when you’re job searching
• Recognize which projects energize you—and which leave you feeling drained
• Spot recurring challenges before they become bigger problems
• Reflect on your professional growth over time
• Set meaningful short-term and long-term career goals
• Celebrate small wins that are easy to overlook during busy weeks

Over time, your journal becomes a record of your career journey. When it’s time to update your resume, prepare for an interview, or write a self-evaluation, you’ll have examples of your accomplishments instead of trying to remember everything months later.

How Often Should You Keep a Work Journal?

One of the best things about keeping a work journal is that there’s no perfect schedule.

Some people enjoy spending five minutes reflecting at the end of each workday, while others prefer setting aside a little more time once a week. The key isn’t how often you write—it’s consistency.

Even one thoughtful journal entry every Friday can help you document accomplishments, identify patterns, and stay focused on your long-term career goals.

Choose a routine that works for your schedule and stick with it.

Daily Work Journal Template

If staring at a blank page feels overwhelming, use these questions as a starting point.

At the end of each workday, spend five minutes answering:

• What did I accomplish today?
• What challenged me today?
• What did I learn?
• What positive feedback did I receive?
• What should I focus on tomorrow?

Weekly Work Journal Template

At the end of the week, reflect on:

• My biggest accomplishment
• My biggest challenge
• The biggest lesson I learned
• Skills I strengthened
• Goals for next week

30 Work Journal Prompts

If you’re looking for more inspiration, here are 30 work journal prompts to help you reflect on your professional growth.

1. What is the biggest lesson I learned today?
2. What positive feedback did I receive this week?
3. What accomplishment am I most proud of?
4. How did I go above and beyond?
5. How did I help a coworker or my team?
6. What are my goals for this week, month, and quarter?
7. What resources or support do I need to reach my goals?
8. What new skill would I like to learn, and how can I learn it?
9. Which skill should I continue strengthening?
10. How satisfied am I with my job right now?
11. What can I do to improve my job satisfaction?
12. What changes from my manager or company would help me do my best work?
13. Which tasks give me the most energy?
14. Which tasks drain my energy?
15. What mistake taught me something valuable?
16. What compliment or positive feedback surprised me?
17. What am I avoiding, and why?
18. What opportunities are available for me to take on more responsibility?
19. What are three things I’m grateful for today?
20. How would my manager describe my strengths?
21. How would my coworkers describe me?
22. What can I do to feel more engaged in my day-to-day work?
23. Who inspires me professionally, and why?
24. What is the best career advice I’ve received recently?
25. Where do I see myself professionally in the next five years?
26. What can I do to strengthen my personal brand?
27. How did I demonstrate leadership today?
28. What professional relationship should I invest more time in?
29. If I had to summarize this week in one sentence, what would it be?
30. What would make next week even more successful?

Final Thoughts

A work journal doesn’t have to be lengthy or perfectly written to be effective. Spending just five or ten minutes reflecting on your day or week can help you recognize your progress, stay focused on your long-term goals, and become more intentional about your career.

Over time, you’ll create a valuable record of your accomplishments, professional growth, and lessons learned. Whether you’re preparing for your next performance review, interviewing for a new job, or simply trying to become more thoughtful about your career, you’ll be glad you took the time to document your journey.

The most important step is simply getting started. Pick a notebook or open a blank document, answer one prompt, and build the habit from there.

The post How to Keep a Work Journal (Plus 30 Work Journal Prompts) appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

What is GGStudio? 

After Gabby’s Bridal Arms series went viral on TikTok, she built a fitness app with hundreds of classes. When I was taking her TikTok classes, I kept wishing she had workouts that targeted other areas like abs, legs, and glutes. The app makes it easy to find classes that focus on those areas. I like that I can sort workouts by time, mood, difficulty level, and class category. Her signature classes are Barre Flow (20-25 minute low-impact barre and mat Pilates classes using light weights and props), Sculpt (30-40 minute full body classes using props and light weights), and Power Sculpt (under 50-minute strength classes using heavy 8-15 pound weights). Gabby has also recently introduced some dance cardio classes that are great to do if you’re traveling and don’t have equipment.  

What Does GGStudio Cost?

You can join GGStudio monthly for $12 a month or pay $108 for an annual membership that works out to about $9 a month. I started with the free 7-day trial and liked it so much that I became an annual GGStudio member. 

What Do You Need?

Some GGStudio classes include props like a Pilates ball, sliders, light weights, optional wrist weights, and heavier dumbbells. I bought this kit. I already had different sized weights at home.

What Are Some Perks?

I used to watch the free Bridal Arms classes on TikTok but it was harder to follow along and track my workouts. Now I can use the GGStudio app to browse classes, cast workouts onto my TV, track my progress in various programs, schedule classes, and view my class history. You can also chime in on the GGBrides and GGSquad communities and leave comments on workouts.

GGStudio Programs

My favorite thing about the GGStudio app is the structure. There are a variety of two- to four-week programs and Gabby releases new classes and a weekly workout schedule each week. You can choose between a Quickie Plan with shorter workouts or a Full Stack Plan that combines multiple classes. I like that the programs and schedule remove the guesswork from deciding what workout to do and make it easy to stay consistent. The exercises vary from day to day, increase in difficulty, and include rest days. 

So far I’ve completed:

• Bridal Arms: The Bridal Arms Program is a 14-day series of short, high-repetition upper-body workouts designed to strengthen your arms, shoulders, and back while improving posture. The most advanced version, Bridal Arms 3.0 is only available on the app and includes longer classes, heavier weights, and more props.
• Strong Under 40 Program: This two-week program has barre, Pilates, sculpt and strength classes that are all under 40 minutes. Strong Under 40 was the first program I did after Bridal Arms and it was an excellent way for me to get introduced to all of the GGStudio signature classes. While the Bridal Arms classes are short and spicy, these classes are longer, target different body groups, and are more like a traditional strength class.
• The Deskside Program: If you’re short on time and want to get in an effective and efficient workout, this is the program for you. There are standing arm, leg, ab, and glute workouts that are all under 14 minutes. They are all designed so you can fit them in during a short work break. You don’t need to change out of your regular clothes.
• Deep Core: I have scoliosis and my doctor has emphasized the importance of core and back strength. I’ve been enjoying this short, under-12-minute classes. I appreciate that Gabby provides modifications and I make small changes if anything hurts my back.
• Advanced Program: I got used to Gabby’s classes from doing the Strong Under 40 Program. I felt confident in skipping the Beginner and Intermediate Programs and jumping straight to advanced. This 4-week program includes a mix of her signature Barre, Strength, Power Sculpt, and Recovery classes. There are dedicated classes targeting specific muscles and full body classes. Every day is different and there is a good mix of long and short classes and I can fit the shorter classes in on cardio days. I love that it takes the guesswork out of choosing classes.

What I Don’t Love

Some of the advanced classes like Sculpt and Power Sculpt move quickly and can be a bit hard to follow at first. I jumped straight into Strong Under 40, but you can also start with the Beginner Program to get the fundamentals down. I found the faster-paced workouts easier to follow once I started casting them to my TV instead of watching on my phone. The app has royalty free music in the background, which makes sense licensing music is expensive. It would be great to have an option to listen to the class without music so I could play music on another device. 

Is GGStudio Worth It?

For me, 100%.

If you want enjoyable workouts that help you build consistency and strength at home, I think it’s a win. I love the GGStudio app because I’ve seen results and I love Gabby’s teaching style. She’s positive, encouraging, and bubbly. I haven’t gotten bored and look forward to trying something new. 

I’ll continue updating this review as I take more classes and complete additional programs.

Thinking about trying GGStudio? You can get 10% off an annual membership using my referral link. Full disclosure: I’ll receive a referral credit if you sign up, but I paid for my own membership and this review is not sponsored.  

The post My Honest Gabby George GGStudio App Review appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

What Is the Gabby George Bridal Arms Program?

The Bridal Arms Program is a 14-day series of short, high-repetition upper-body workouts designed to strengthen your arms, shoulders, and back while improving posture. I’m here to say on the record: It works.

The workouts range from roughly 6-12 minutes and use a combination of light 2-3 pound hand weights and optional wrist weights. If you don’t have small weights, Gabby emphasizes that you can use other props like cans or even just your body weight. The latest iteration of the program uses the same weights plus heavier weights up to 10 pounds and a band. 

Gabby George Bridal Arms 2.0 vs. 3.0

Gabby has three versions of her viral Bridal Arms workout and has improved the program with each iteration. Bridal Arms 1.0 and 2.0 are only on TikTok. Her new-and-improved version is exclusively on the GGStudio app. I skipped the first version and started with 2.0. After doing two rounds of 2.0, I was hooked and knew I wanted to try Bridal Arms 3.0 and the other GGStudio classes. The main differences are that some classes are longer, there are standing and kneeling workouts, and some incorporate heavier weights.

I prefer Bridal Arms 3.0 because it is an even harder workout, there is more variety, and it’s a better user experience. I cast the classes on my TV instead of watching the videos on TikTok. It’s also easier to find the classes and keep track of your progress. I went from having a checklist on my phone to having a checkmark by each class I had completed.

My Bridal Arms Results

I feel stronger, more toned, and my posture has improved. The class is called Bridal Arms, but it also targets your back and core which is important for me because I have scoliosis. I’ve noticed that I slouch less when I’m walking or working at my desk. While the classes are short and the weights are small, they make a big impact. I’ve actually seen more results than I did from taking a 30-minute upper-body class once a week for three months.

It has been easy for me to stay consistent with the workouts because they are short. I can always fit in a quick under 12 minute workout. I’ve even done them without changing into workout clothes and on-the-go. I did a few workouts in a hotel room using filled up water bottles because I didn’t have equipment. I look forward to the classes because I’ve seen results and I love Gabby’s teaching style. She’s positive, encouraging, and bubbly. There is enough variety from day to day so I haven’t gotten bored. 

To stay motivated, Gabby recommends doing the classes 6-7 days a week and taking a break after each cycle. I take one to two days off.

Is the Bridal Arms Program Worth It?

The Bridal Arms workout has absolutely been worth it for me! Before getting engaged, I trained for half marathons and did the occasional strength class. After saying “yes,” I wanted to get into a regular routine that incorporated both strength and cardio. If you want enjoyable workouts that help you build consistency and strength at home, I think the Bridal Arms Program is a total win. 

Thinking about trying GGStudio? You can get 10% off an annual membership using my referral link. Full disclosure: I’ll receive a referral credit if you sign up, but I paid for my own membership and this review is not sponsored. I’m just a big fan! 

The post My Honest Gabby George Bridal Arms Review appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

During the early days of the pandemic, she learns that he had an affair and abruptly says he wants a divorce and doesn’t want custody of their three children. Burden had left her legal career to focus on their family while he switched from law to finance and made millions of dollars throughout their 20-year marriage. Based on the prenup, she wouldn’t get any of it despite all of the contributions she had made to the family that helped him focus on his career and eventual promotion to partner at a hedge fund.

“We had made an unspoken bargain: He would work all the time and I would take care of the kids all the time,” she wrote. When she was approached about a new job when the kids got older, he encouraged her not to take it. While he would be able to keep all the income he earned during their two-decade marriage, she could be forced to sell the properties and split the funds or pay him half because, despite paying for them independently, both names were on the deeds. She said that was what she thought people were “supposed to do” when they are married and that he would also put assets in joint names. 

Burden writes beautifully about the emotional betrayal and sudden unraveling of her relationship to the extent that her then-husband felt like a stranger. Hopefully, most readers won’t have to endure what she endured — or have their husband ask them to make a sandwich in the middle of telling their kids about the divorce. Still, I think there are takeaways that can apply to any couple.

As I was reading the book and listening to countless interviews with Burden, I noted that she described herself as “financially naive.”

“I think what happened to me in the marriage is that I handed over most of my financial life to my husband, believing that he was better able to handle it. And as the years went by, I lost touch with the big picture of where assets sat, whose name was on what and what would happen to me if we divorced,” Burden told NPR.

This was a former Big Law corporate attorney who didn’t feel confident about her financial skills and eventually let her husband make most of the financial decisions.

“I started to convince myself that I couldn’t really understand it. And I’m a former corporate lawyer, I don’t think it’s hard to understand. But you start to believe in someone else’s competence much more than your own,” she said on the podcast “Lipstick on the Rim.”

One of the biggest lessons for me was the importance of frequently discussing your financial life and having a clear understanding of your family finances. Like Burden, I think it is fairly common for people to feel like their partner is “better” at finances, so they defer to them. But I think it’s important for both people to feel confident and know how to manage their finances, even if you split tasks like paying bills, bookkeeping, and filing taxes. Trusting your partner with money shouldn’t mean completely disconnecting from your joint financial life.

Burden wrote that throughout their marriage she let him handle their finances and, although she signed their joint tax returns, she didn’t realize what he was making or have a clear understanding of all their assets and whether they were jointly or separately titled. He would have her annotate their joint credit card bills each month, and she says she felt like he was controlling about their spending, so much so that she would often pay for “extra” things like shopping and gifts for their kids with her own money. They would each contribute an equal amount toward their shared checking account each month. 

Burden has said that she never wants to get married again because she doesn’t want to have someone else have financial control. However, you can and should have financial control even if you’re married. Now she recommends married couples have regular check-ins to talk about their finances.

“I think women should have those conversations with their partners at least quarterly, have a deep understanding of what their financial picture is, what assets are where, whose name is on what and really know, even if they’re incredibly happily married, what would happen if the relationship ends,” she told NPR.

I couldn’t agree more, and I think having open and honest conversations about money can start long before you get married. When you first start dating, that might simply mean talking about how you like to split dinners, trips, or other expenses. Before moving in together, you’ll probably have bigger conversations about income, budgeting, and housing costs.

As the relationship gets more serious, you may also want to discuss:

• spending habits
• debt
• savings goals
• investing styles
• career ambitions
• financial priorities
• whether you prefer to combine finances or keep some things separate
• how you each grew up thinking about money

If you’re engaged, you may also start discussing bigger-picture questions like:

• whether you’ll combine finances
• how you’ll divide expenses
• whether a prenup makes sense
• how you’ll approach financial decisions as a team
• what would happen financially if one person stopped working

Burden also underscored the importance of talking about what would happen if you got divorced.

“No matter how happily married you are, talk about what would happen if it ends.”

That’s where a prenup could come in, although she ultimately regretted that her prenup said they would only share assets held in joint names and that they didn’t extinguish the prenup like they had later discussed.

People have strong opinions about prenups and postnups, and it can be a controversial topic. It’s definitely not the most romantic part of wedding planning or newlywed life, but I also don’t think that asking for one means you think you’re going to get divorced or that things will become acrimonious.

It can simply be an insurance policy that makes divorce or estate planning a little easier if the worst-case scenario were to happen. As people often say, “You know the person you’re marrying, not the person you’re divorcing.”

You don’t need to obsess over worst-case scenarios that will hopefully never happen. But you should understand your financial life — whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married. 

The post The Marriage and Money Lessons I Took From Belle Burden’s “Strangers” appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Then you get together with a friend for brunch and she tells you all about her new boyfriend and major raise over iced coffee and pancakes. And you’re happy for her — really, you are — but part of you wishes you were dating someone and making more money.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to your friends or the people you follow online. According to social comparison theory, we determine our self-worth based on how we compare ourselves to other people. The problem is that you’re never going to be “the best” at everything, and comparing yourself too much can be detrimental. Luckily, it’s possible to decrease the amount you compare yourself to other people — even in the age of TikTok and Instagram — and use some comparison as motivation.

Focus on being your best self

Hone in on your own success, not where you stack up against people in your Instagram feed or friend group.

“Instead of focusing on what you struggle with and what someone else might do better than you, focus on and celebrate your strengths,” says Aimee Barr, LCSW, a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist. “We can accept ourselves and also strive to grow and be better versions of ourselves.”

Barr also advises celebrating your strengths and accomplishments and surrounding yourself with people who love and support you.

Identify your triggers and iterate

Track what triggers you to compare yourself to other people, Barr says.

“The first step in changing anything is awareness that it’s a problem. Most of the time, we engage in social comparison without even being aware that we are doing it,” she says.

If social media is the main culprit, she recommends curbing your social media use by limiting the amount of time you spend on social media each day. Do yourself a favor and mute or unfollow people who consistently trigger you to feel bad about yourself.

Reframe your mindset

“In order to get out of one heightened emotional state, we often have to be thrown into another one,” says Barr. “Excitement is a great distraction from envy, jealousy, or frustration.”

Remember that social media is a highlight reel. You’re not seeing all the mistakes, stress, and mishaps behind the scenes.

Let it motivate you

Comparison doesn’t always have to be draining. You can use it to identify goals you’d like to achieve.

“Find out what it is about them that you want to have for yourself. If it is realistic, then set a goal for yourself and stick to achieving it,” says Courtney Glashow, LCSW, a Jersey City-based psychotherapist and owner of Anchor Therapy.

“When you feel down after comparing yourself to someone, reach out to them and ask how they got where they are and if they have any tips for you,” says Elizabeth Cohen, PhD, a New York City-based clinical psychologist. “If you try this strategy, comparing yourself to others can actually lead to growth, change, and knowledge.”

The post How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

I believe there are nine types of friends everyone needs in their life. (And yes, if you’re lucky, one person can check multiple boxes.)

A Cheerleader

Everyone needs a friend who reminds them of all their strengths and accomplishments. Your cheerleader celebrates your wins, hypes you up when you’re feeling down or insecure, and reminds you how capable you actually are. Bonus points if they also brag about you to other people.

A Confidant

This is a person you can confide in about anything. They get the full story, not the abridged version. They’re one of the first people you text when something amazing happens and one of the first people you call when life falls apart a little. You know they’d answer at 3 a.m. if you really needed them.

A Work Friend

A good work friend can completely change your work life. They’re the person you Slack during long meetings, grab coffee with between projects, vent to after stressful days, and rely on for honest feedback and advice.

A Motivator

Some friends help you become the best version of yourself. A motivator encourages you to go after your goals, whether that’s applying for a promotion, getting healthier, sticking to a budget, or finally starting the thing you keep talking yourself out of doing.

A Connector

This friend somehow knows everyone and genuinely enjoys bringing people together. They’re always organizing dinners, inviting people into the group, or introducing friends who they just know will get along. You’re likely to meet people you like since you have a close friend in common and, perk, you can all hang out together.

An Adventurer

This is the person you text when you want to do something fun. They’re always up for signing up for a Pickleball class, learning Mahjong, training for a race, or saying yes to whatever you find fun.

An Energizer

You know those people you leave feeling happier after spending time with? That’s an energizer. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and even a quick coffee date or phone call with them can completely shift your mood.

A Coach

A coach helps you hit your goals. They give you the support and encouragement you need. In some cases, they might even teach you their tips and tricks for learning a new skills, whether it’s running a marathon or training a puppy. They check in on your progress and genuinely want to see you succeed.

A Comedian

Even on your worst days, they can make you laugh until you cry. You look forward to hearing their stories and they help you not take things so seriously all the time.

The post 9 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

We didn’t get into a fight. There wasn’t a teary conversation, a ‘conscious uncoupling,’ or really even closure. In that way, it was probably as anticlimactic as the end of a close friendship can be. So what happened? There were a lot of small signs that we viewed friendship differently and that the friendship wasn’t as close as I had thought.

Some friendships are simply based on enjoying spending time together. You can have inside jokes that no one else finds funny, go out for long dinners until the restaurant closes, have someone to text your totally random thoughts to, have movie nights with, or explore a new city. And that’s all great — but there’s a line between a close friendship and one that’s fun but surface-level. I’ve found that trust is the main differentiating factor. Without it, a strong friendship’s foundation erodes and an emotional wall is built.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of reasons trust can fade. Maybe you hear them say mean or untrue things about other friends and you know they likely say the same about you, they say hurtful things because they know you well enough to know what will hurt the most, or those private things you shared in confidence weren’t kept confidential.

If you’re going to have a breakup conversation, schedule time for an in-person conversation in a private place, says Amina Shea Tinsley, a New York-based psychotherapist. (If you’re not in the same city, you can do it over the phone, but don’t send a breakup text, please.) Write down what you want to say in advance — you don’t have to stick to the script, but it is helpful to prepare before a tough conversation. Include the benefits of the breakup and avoid blaming your friend.

“Remain civil during the breakup discussion. Explosive anger and shouting matches will make you appear unstable and make it easier for your friend to dismiss your concerns as irrational,” says Tinsley. “You want to appear thoughtful and calm so you present yourself as an ally who wants the best for your friend.”

Listen to their side and have a compassionate conversation instead of a soliloquy.

You could have dozens of surface-level friendships — and it’s likely you did in high school and college — but close friendships are harder to come by and much more valuable. They are the people you know will always be there for you — no matter the severity of the situation or the time of day. It may sound like something from a Hallmark card, but they elevate you, energize you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself — and you do the same for them.

They are the first people you text or call to share good news, bad news, or just random updates from your day-to-day life. (Like that disastrous — but kind of comical — first date you went on.) They know what to say to cheer you up and when to share advice or just listen.

It’s incredibly sad when a friendship ends or changes. You care about the person and miss them.

“Give yourself the freedom to process, grieve, and heal just as you would a romantic relationship,” says Melanie Ross Mills, a Texas-based therapist and author of The Friendship Bond: Creating Bonds That Last.

It’s inevitable that you are going to miss the person and think about them often, especially at first. You may think of them when you pass that restaurant you always used to go to, see something you know they’d love, or wonder what their advice would be for something you’re going through. When that happens and you really want to pick up the phone to call or text, remind yourself why things ended, says Mills.

Stay busy and surround yourself with your close friends. Focus on strengthening those relationships and being a thoughtful and supportive friend.

When a romantic relationship ends, you open yourself up to finding a relationship that’s better for both of you. It’s the same thing for friendship.

“You’ll see what friends are brought into your life because you have not only opened up your heart space for the next friendship, but you’ve also recognized that there’s a big difference between the fun, ‘good time’ friend versus the purposeful, trustworthy friend,” says Mills.

When you’re feeling sad, think about the positive things about your friendship. The ending doesn’t erase the good memories, and you’ve learned about the type of friendships you want to cultivate and the type of friend you want to be.

I slowly remembered the memories and felt happy about the friendship we had instead of only being sad about how it ended. In the case of romantic relationships and friendships, time (and Ben & Jerry’s) cures a broken heart.

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