Libby Leffler, vice president of membership at Social Finance (SoFi), negotiated with the tooth fairy as a child. “Looking back, I think this lighthearted family story speaks volumes about the way I think about negotiating or knowing one’s worth. Throughout my entire career, I’ve never been shy to ask for a raise or promotion – or both,” she says.
As an adult, Leffler continues to “lean in” and was even business lead to Sheryl Sandberg, the woman who started the Lean In movement. Leffler worked at Google and Facebook before attending Harvard Business School and working at SoFi, a San Francisco-based lending and wealth management company founded in 2011. Now the 2014 Forbes 30 Under 30 alumna is helping people lean in, achieve their financial goals and – of course – negotiate.
What are your responsibilities in your role as vice president of membership at SoFi?
As vice president of membership, I lead the teams at SoFi that deliver meaningful benefits to SoFi members, from engaging networking events to complimentary career coaching and licensed financial advising.
You previously worked in leadership positions at Facebook including as a client partner, business lead to Sheryl Sandberg and senior manager for strategic partnerships. How have those jobs helped you be more successful in your role at SoFi?
When I look back at my previous work experience, it becomes clear that I have never imagined my career trajectory looking like a ladder – which in many ways is the traditional concept of career progression – but instead, like a jungle gym. Along the way, I was not only focused on the next step up, but was drawn to opportunities that intrigued me and gave me the chance to learn something new, with plenty of room for experimentation, growth and grittiness. In a few cases, this meant making a lateral move inside of an organization where I would take on a new set of responsibilities. Other times, it meant completely changing teams or roles – or in the case of my [business school] summer internship, changing industries altogether.
My experiences at high-growth consumer tech companies taught me to move quickly and adapt to change and they gave me the foundation for working cross-functionally. In any role, if you are willing to take the time to learn as much as possible from those around you, work with the smartest people you can and even take on additional projects outside the scope of your own role, there will always be plenty of ways to feed your curiosity.
What is the most valuable lesson you learned from Sandberg during your time at Facebook?
Looking back, the most valuable lesson I learned from [Sandberg] was to lean in. You might be thinking – “of course that’s what you learned!” – but she gave me this advice well before Lean Inwas written, before the notion of “leaning in” developed into the movement that it represents today. [Sandberg] always encouraged me to embrace my ambition – and then challenged me to dream even bigger.
I read that you negotiated with the tooth fairy as a kid and are leading SoFi’s Get That Raise event with MSNBC’s Morning Joe co-host and founder of Know Your Value, Mika Brzezinski. What advice would you give to someone who just landed her dream job but is scared to negotiate her offer? How about someone who deserves a raise but is nervous to ask?
In my work at SoFi, I am responsible for recruiting and growing our membership team. When I’m offering a job to my top candidate for any role, my expectation (and hope) is always that the person negotiates.
My advice for someone who just landed their dream job is to remember that your potential employer has invested a lot of time getting to this point: you’ve visited their office, met the team and talked about expectations and priorities in the role. With the offer in hand, you are in a great place to evaluate your total compensation package holistically. Remember to consider every aspect of the offer, including vacation days, flexible hours if needed or other benefits that might be important to you. Salary is not the only part of a compensation package.
Of course, asking for a raise can be intimidating and nerve-wracking, even for those of us who have done it before. The best way to get ready to ask for a raise is to prepare, practice and then pursue. Prepare: Before jumping in, do your homework. This includes researching how other jobs similar to yours are being compensated across your industry as well as understanding your own company’s pay practices. List out every contribution that you’ve made since your last title change or promotion. Anything you’ve done that goes above and beyond your job description? Add it to the list.
Practice: Once you’ve compiled all of your pre-work, create a plan for how you will approach your manager or boss. Role play your speech with a friend or trusted colleague so you get comfortable having the conversation. Remember: practicing in your head is not the same as actually listening to yourself saying the words out loud. It also helps to put yourself in your manager’s shoes so you can anticipate their reaction and have a few thoughtful responses outlined ahead of time.
Pursue: Go for it!
Do you think that because of conscious and unconscious gender biases men and women should negotiate differently?
Research is clear that women are penalized for initiating negotiation discussions around increased compensation. A 2017 McKinsey & Company and Lean In study found that women negotiate for promotions and raises more often than men, but are less likely to receive them – and are often subject to a “social penalty” simply because they negotiated. In fact, data showed that senior-level women who negotiate are more likely to receive feedback that they are “intimidating,” “bossy,” or “too aggressive.”
It is important to note that while these social penalties do exist, the 2016 McKinsey and Lean In study found that women who ask for a promotion are 54% more likely to receive it than women who do not ask at all. There are a number of tactics you can use in the course of a negotiation to help combat the seemingly impossible tradeoff between likeability and success, including adopting a communal mindset at the start of your discussion. For example, as you begin the conversation, be transparent about the fact that you are negotiating clearly demonstrates how hard you plan to negotiate on behalf of the company, framing the ask in terms of “we” rather than “I.”
There are a number of strategies women can call on to combat the double bind, but companies also have a significant responsibility to commit to gender equality in the workplace. This means genuine dedication at the highest levels of the organization to ensure that women and men have the same opportunities in their careers – and are compensated fairly for their work.
What’s the biggest lesson you learned at work and how did you learn it?
In my first week working in a new role, I joined a high-level meeting that included the CEO and COO of a major media company. I was excited, but admittedly nervous, even though I had prepared all of the material and was extremely familiar with the content that would be discussed.
Walking into the meeting with participants from both companies filing into the room, I quickly realized that there were not enough seats for everyone around the table. Instead of wedging myself in, I took an open chair in the back of the room, figuring it was better not to call too much attention to myself, especially since I was only a few days into my new job. I knew right away that it was the wrong decision – and my boss gave me that exact feedback almost immediately after the meeting ended, imploring me to “take a seat at the table” for every meeting going forward.
The lesson I learned from this situation was not just about where to sit – though it is important to have the confidence to sit side-by-side with even the most senior executive in any meeting you take. This moment taught me just how critical it is to speak up, listen to my instincts and it ultimately helped me develop a stronger sense of personal conviction.
What is one thing that you wish you had known when you were starting out your career?
Ask for feedback. Then, ask again.
Candidly, this is not something that came naturally to me. Receiving tough feedback can be uncomfortable, so it makes sense that we often shy away from it. In my experience, the most meaningful individual growth opportunities come from those crucial conversations: the ones where you ask someone after a meeting how they thought you did – and most importantly, what you could have done better. I have been lucky enough to have great managers and mentors throughout my career who impressed upon me the importance of real-time feedback. This is now something I practice regularly with our teams at SoFi.
What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
What is your career advice for other young professional women?
Be open and receptive to feedback. Ask everyone around you – the people you work with, the people you manage, your boss and cross-functional partners. Continuous feedback can help you develop your strengths and, at the same time, open you up to focus on development areas, even the ones you didn’t realize you had. Remember that it is not just enough to ask for feedback. You have to be open to receiving it (no matter how uncomfortable it might be), willing to listen and ultimately implement it into your work.
Photo of Libby Leffler taken by Steve Maller.
