How is it that you’re supposed to celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you just started dating? Couples face this question every year, and if you’ve recently begun seeing someone, you both are probably starting to have questions about the upcoming holiday. Whether you call him your “kind of boyfriend,” “this guy I’m seeing”, or your mythical Tinder date gone right, figuring out how to approach Valentine’s Day is stressful for a lot of us, especially during the dating vs. relationship grey area. With these tips, you can tone down the awkwardness of the occasion and make for a great first Valentine’s Day together.
By Holly Tomlinson
Communication is Key:
You’re going to have to actually talk to him about it. I’m not talking about a drawn out round table discussion here, but determine a way to have a casual conversation about Valentine’s Day. Guys are under a lot of pressure during Valentine’s Day, and he may be wondering if making plans will scare you off, or he may be nervous about doing something too serious too soon. Your best option is to be direct. Ask him what his thoughts are, and make sure you two are on the same page as the date draws closer.
Be Careful with your Expectations:
This is a new relationship, and you need to have realistic expectations. Don’t expect a horse-drawn carriage, hundreds of roses, and declarations of undying love. Your expectations may be different if you’ve already set plans for the evening. If you do have plans, think of this as just an extra special date night. If you don’t have plans together, don’t expect a surprise appearance.
If you two are exchanging gifts — and you should discuss whether or not you want to do this if you’re at the point where it’s comfortable — my best advice is to stay thoughtful. No crazy expensive purchases (he’ll feel awful if he doesn’t do the same, and let’s be real, so will you). Think about his hobbies and interests, and pick an inexpensive gift that will play to them. Perhaps it’s a concert happening the next weekend (avoid buying tickets to anything too far in advance, as this places more pressure on the two of you to make it work until that date), or maybe it’s an experience gift like go-kart racing. Whatever you decide on, keep it light, keep it fun, and cater it to his interests for a foolproof gift that he’ll definitely appreciate. If all else fails, keep it inexpensive and classic with some chocolate dipped berries.
Make Your Own Plans:
If it’s looking like you two won’t be hanging out on Valentine’s Day, stop the inclination to worry. Make other plans and celebrate the diverse loves you have in your life: Your best friends, your sister, your parents, and yes, even yourself. Love is always a good reason to celebrate, so don’t let your lack of plans with a guy get you down. Keeping yourself busy is the best way to avoid disappointment of not going out with your guy, and if you are in a truly new grey area, it’ll cut down on the pressure for both of you if you’ve got other things to keep you busy. Head out to the movies with your single friends for Galentine’s Day, or invite them over and have DoorDash deliver some delicious cuisine right to your door. Skip the crowded restaurants order food and make Valentine’s Day inspired desserts.
A holiday celebrating love shouldn’t be cause for distress, so talk to your guy, and don’t be too disappointed if this isn’t the Valentine’s Day dates you’ve seen in the movies. Focus on all the love you have in your life and make the holiday great no matter who you spend it with.
By Holly Tomlinson. Image via Brit + Co.