What Is the Gabby George Bridal Arms Program?

The Bridal Arms Program is a series of short, high-repetition upper-body workouts designed to strengthen your arms, shoulders, and back while improving posture. I’m here to say on the record: It works.

I completed two rounds of the free Bridal Arms 2.0 program on TikTok before signing up for the app and starting Bridal Arms 3.0. The workouts range from roughly 6-12 minutes and use a combination of light hand weights, optional wrist weights, and heavier 8-10 pound weights for 3.0. I completed Bridal Arms 3.0 using 2-pound dumbbells, 1-pound wrist weights, and 6-10 pound weights on heavier days. I’m already halfway through my second round and plan to use 3-pound weights moving forward. I enjoyed Bridal Arms 2.0, but I’ve found Bridal Arms 3.0 to be even more challenging, fun, and effective.

I love Gabby’s teaching style. She’s positive, encouraging, and bubbly. While the classes are short and the weights are small, they make a big impact. It’s only been about a month and a half, but I feel stronger, more toned, and my posture has noticeably improved. I’ve actually seen more results than I did from taking a 30-minute upper-body class once a week for three months.

What Is GGStudio?

After seeing success with Bridal Arms 2.0, I signed up for the GGStudio app to get access to all of Gabby’s classes and programs.

I started with the seven-day free trial, moved to the $12 monthly plan, and recently upgraded to an annual membership that works out to about $9 per month. I decided to upgrade because I wanted access to her Pilates, barre, strength, and recovery classes—and because I genuinely wanted to support the instructor.

When I was taking her TikTok classes, I kept wishing she had workouts that targeted other areas like abs, legs, and glutes. The app makes it easy to find classes that focus on those areas, and I like that I can sort workouts by time, mood, and difficulty level. Instead of watching classes on my phone, I usually cast them to my TV, which makes it much easier to follow along with the more advanced workouts.

What Else Do I Love?

One of my favorite things about the app is the structure. I’m almost finished with GGStudio’s Strong Under 40 Program (all classes are under 40 minutes) and the Deskside Program, which features standing workouts under 14 minutes that are perfect for non-hair wash days. (IYKYK.) Gabby releases new classes and a weekly workout schedule each week. Members can choose between a Quickie Plan with shorter workouts or a Full Stack Plan that combines multiple classes.

I like that the programs remove the guesswork from deciding what workout to do. Instead of scrolling through dozens of classes, I can simply follow a plan that targets different muscle groups throughout the week. Right now, I do longer classes and Bridal Arms on strength days, then add a shorter class and Bridal Arms on cardio days. I’m excited to try the Deep Core Program next.

What I Don’t Love

Some of the advanced classes like Sculpt and PowerSculpt move quickly and can be a bit hard to follow, but I think I’ll get better as I do more of them. I jumped straight into Strong Under 40, but you can also start with the Beginner Program to get the fundamentals down. 

I also found the faster-paced workouts easier to follow once I started casting them to my TV instead of watching on my phone.

Is GGStudio Worth It?

For me, yes.

Before getting engaged, I trained for half marathons and did the occasional strength class. After saying “yes,” I wanted to get into a regular routine that incorporated both strength and cardio. If you want approachable workouts that help you build consistency and strength at home, I think it’s a win.

I’ll continue updating this review as I take more classes and complete additional programs.

Thinking about trying GGStudio? You can get 10% off an annual membership using my referral link. Full disclosure: I’ll receive a referral credit if you sign up, but I paid for my own membership and this review is not sponsored. I’m just a big fan! 

The post My Honest Gabby George Bridal Arms Review appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Then you get together with a friend for brunch and she tells you all about her new boyfriend and major raise over iced coffee and pancakes. And you’re happy for her — really, you are — but part of you wishes you were dating someone and making more money.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to your friends or the people you follow online. According to social comparison theory, we determine our self-worth based on how we compare ourselves to other people. The problem is that you’re never going to be “the best” at everything, and comparing yourself too much can be detrimental. Luckily, it’s possible to decrease the amount you compare yourself to other people — even in the age of TikTok and Instagram — and use some comparison as motivation.

Focus on being your best self

Hone in on your own success, not where you stack up against people in your Instagram feed or friend group.

“Instead of focusing on what you struggle with and what someone else might do better than you, focus on and celebrate your strengths,” says Aimee Barr, LCSW, a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist. “We can accept ourselves and also strive to grow and be better versions of ourselves.”

Barr also advises celebrating your strengths and accomplishments and surrounding yourself with people who love and support you.

Identify your triggers and iterate

Track what triggers you to compare yourself to other people, Barr says.

“The first step in changing anything is awareness that it’s a problem. Most of the time, we engage in social comparison without even being aware that we are doing it,” she says.

If social media is the main culprit, she recommends curbing your social media use by limiting the amount of time you spend on social media each day. Do yourself a favor and mute or unfollow people who consistently trigger you to feel bad about yourself.

Reframe your mindset

“In order to get out of one heightened emotional state, we often have to be thrown into another one,” says Barr. “Excitement is a great distraction from envy, jealousy, or frustration.”

Remember that social media is a highlight reel. You’re not seeing all the mistakes, stress, and mishaps behind the scenes.

Let it motivate you

Comparison doesn’t always have to be draining. You can use it to identify goals you’d like to achieve.

“Find out what it is about them that you want to have for yourself. If it is realistic, then set a goal for yourself and stick to achieving it,” says Courtney Glashow, LCSW, a Jersey City-based psychotherapist and owner of Anchor Therapy.

“When you feel down after comparing yourself to someone, reach out to them and ask how they got where they are and if they have any tips for you,” says Elizabeth Cohen, PhD, a New York City-based clinical psychologist. “If you try this strategy, comparing yourself to others can actually lead to growth, change, and knowledge.”

The post How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

But experiencing depression at work isn’t exactly remarkable, right? Better learn to suck it up and deal, right? Not exactly. There’s a definite difference between regular ol’ workplace stress—a big presentation, a client’s disapproval, a heavy workload—and actual depression.

When you experience persistent, troubling feelings that won’t go away no matter what you do, and those feelings interfere with all areas of your life, it’s important to get support. You’d hardly be alone. According to a Monster survey of 1,000 full-time and part-time employees in the United States, many employees have experienced depression (24%) and physical illness (12%) as a result of their job; 34% said their job negatively affects their mental health.

Depression can be debilitating, so it’s not surprising that it can impact your experiences at work. A survey by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) asked people which aspects of their jobs were affected by anxiety and depression. The results:

• workplace performance (56%)
• relationship with co-workers and peers (51%)
• quality of work (50%)
• relationships with superiors (43%)

Mental illness is one of the top causes of worker disability in the U.S., with 62% of missed workdays attributed to mental health conditions. Of people working with mental illness, 66% have been diagnosed with depression.

The last thing you need is for your job stability or your boss’s perception of you to suffer when you are suffering. So if you’re feeling like depression is affecting your work and hindering your relationships with co-workers, try these coping strategies.

Start by talking to a mental health professional:

A therapist can help you develop a treatment plan, such as weekly talk therapy or medicine. But even looking for someone to see can be a tough first step when depression at work already has you in its grips. In that instance, participating in your company’s employee assistance program (EAP), if there is one, can help.

An EAP is a confidential, employer-sponsored program to address mental health concerns including depression, anxiety, stress, emotional wellness, bereavement, grief and loss, substance abuse and addiction, family and relationship issues, and other personal concerns. Employees typically have access to three to six free sessions—where the clinician offers assessment, short-term problem resolution, and referrals to additional resources.

If your company doesn’t have an EAP, you can find lots of resources online. For example, the ADAA has a ”find help” section of its site, and the National Institute of Mental Health is another great source of information on workplace depression.

Talk to your boss or HR:

Even though so many people say depression interferes with work performance, few disclose it to their employer. People likely don’t speak up and ask for help because there is still a stigma around it. Mental health discrimination at work unfortunately discourages open dialogue. People may be worried that they will be viewed as incapable of doing their job and could be let go as a result of asking for help. But depending upon the severity of your symptoms, you may want to make certain people at work aware of your situation.

If you need to take a mental health day here or there, you can use a sick day or paid time off without providing a detailed explanation about your reason. However, if your condition is starting to interfere with your ability to do your job, consider speaking with your boss (who has more of an impact on your work responsibilities than HR). If your conversation with your boss does not yield any results, you can then turn to HR.

For example, if you’re working on a particularly difficult project that is causing you to feel anxious or depressed, you might want to let your manager know you need help so that he/she can delegate some of the responsibilities to your co-workers. You might say, “I want to deliver excellent results, but I’m feeling overwhelmed. It would be very helpful if I could work on this project with a few more people. Who on our team do you think could be a good fit?”

If you need to take a leave of absence or accommodations to your workspace, a simple statement like, “I have a medical condition that requires an extended leave,” or, “I have a medical condition that requires I work in an area with natural sunlight,” should suffice for HR or management. Note that you may need to provide additional documentation from a doctor or clinician.

Create coping mechanisms for dealing with depression at work:

Taking care of yourself and developing coping mechanisms can help you throughout the workday. A professional can help you develop specific strategies for your symptoms.

Take short breaks during the workday—go for a walk and cry if you feel the need, call a friend or family member, or simply take some time to yourself. It’s also important not to isolate yourself, which is something depression can compel you to do. Reach out to co-workers and make a concerted effort to be engaged, rather than closing yourself off.

Maintaining healthy habits such as eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and spending time with friends and family. Try to make plans three to four nights a week—even if it’s something as simple as a quick phone call—so that you always have someone to talk to after a draining day. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can make it especially challenging to get through even the normal routines of a workday, but a strong support system—at home and work—can help you push through the tough times.

The post How to Manage Depression and Stress at Work appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

1. Monitoring for Burnout Symptoms

Experts estimate that three in five American employees experience stress related to their jobs. The same research shows they experience symptoms like:

• Low motivation
• Lack of energy
• Reduced interest in enjoyable activities
• Emotional exhaustion
• Physical fatigue

If you are facing these symptoms, you’re likely working in a state of burnout. Productive people heal themselves with routine changes and self-care. Once they’re in a better state, they watch for the return of those symptoms so they can nip anxiety-inducing habits in the bud.

Reflect on your daily experience with a journal to see if you would benefit from rest, relaxation, and a healthy change in your schedule. You’ll return to a better state of mind and learn what to watch for as your career progresses.

2. Maintaining a Personal Calendar

You probably couldn’t do your job without a professional calendar. When was the last time you maintained a personal calendar too? People with productivity habits utilize calendars to juggle their responsibilities and find time for mood-boosting activities.

Try using a digital calendar and a paper planner to see which style works best for you. As you integrate your daily routine into either version, you’ll support your overall well-being by managing your time more effectively.

3. Reserving Time to Clean Your Workspace

Your workspace likely accumulates a little bit of mess every day. The disorganized piles of paper, mugs, and crumpled sticky notes make the space much less enjoyable. Try reserving a short block every day to sort through those things. It only takes a few minutes to freshen your workspace and return to your responsibilities with greater focus.

If you’re worried about saving 10-15 minutes for this work hack, think of that time as a boost in your productivity. Researchers found that stressors at work cost American businesses $190 billion annually because higher stress influences how often you get sick. You’ll feel healthier and clock in more often when stress isn’t deteriorating your immune system.

4. Save Moments for Yourself 

Productivity-stealing stress builds quickly when you don’t feel like you have any free time. Save moments for yourself whenever you can so your productivity doesn’t start lagging. You could use 10 minutes in the morning to enjoy your coffee on the porch or read a chapter in an inspirational book before your commute begins.

Even waking up early to play 30 minutes of your favorite video game before work will give you more ownership over your time. It could be exactly what you need to regain control, giving you the confidence to tackle your to-do list.

5. Tackle the Challenging Stuff First

If you’re a morning person, get the hard stuff out done before your energy naturally dips in the afternoon. That could mean finalizing a project or clearing through your inbox. The best productivity habits work with your energy flow. Getting the hardest task out of the way early in the morning might make the rest of your day less stressful if you’re in the right headspace.

6. Break Tasks Into Manageable Steps

Someone who considers themselves more of a night owl might get more done every day by breaking down their responsibilities. Make everything a series of small tasks that you complete throughout the day. You’ll feel much better because you’re being productive while taking things slow because the daytime is when you’re most groggy. The key to making it work is excellent calendar organization so you can start on things well ahead of their deadlines.

7. Get Physical Exercise Regularly

People who exercise throughout the week gain more focus because movement supports their mental health. It’s one of the productivity habits that’s easy to forget. Going for a walk isn’t the same as attending a meeting, but you’ll show up to your next meeting ready to give it your full attention. A 10-minute workout could be worth considering if you don’t get much physical activity.

8. Prioritize Taking Breaks

It might seem counterintuitive to take breaks if you want to be productive, but it gives your brain time to reset. You’ll relax your cognitive muscles and get back to your responsibilities with more energy. Try taking a break once every hour by walking around the office, stepping outside, or simply scrolling through social media for a set amount of time. As long as your chosen activity is stress-free, you’ll see an improvement in your productivity in no time.

Make Your Routine Better With Productivity Habits

It’s never too late to try new productivity habits in your career. Consider where your stress or distractions come from to target the best solutions. When you implement helpful habits daily, you’ll see long-term change that generates greater career success.

Author bio: Cora Gold is a career writer and the editor of women’s lifestyle magazine, Revivalist. She writes about productivity tips, entrepreneurship, and freelancing for publications including Built In, Mediabistro, and Startup Nation. Connect with Cora on LinkedIn and X.

The post 8 Productivity Habits That Actually Work appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health:

It all comes from within. Your relationship with yourself will naturally benefit from taking care of yourself. This kind of health is two-fold. To improve your self-esteem, you need to nurture both your mental health and physical health. The obvious ways are exercise and things like yoga, running, meditation, and strength training. But you also know when to take a mental health day. We all need moments of rest to quiet our heads and to breathe. You know when you’re hitting your breaking point and you’re okay and step back to relax and rejuvenate when you need to.

Use Social Media to Share, Not to Validate:

Social media is a blessing and a curse. It’s a great tool to share your life with others and to document your experiences. But it’s important to remember to share to connect with others, not to validate your actions or your lifestyle. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you don’t need to post on your social channels to prove something. You know not to give in to the pressures of social media and can enjoy the benefits while being authentic to yourself.

Practice Self-Care:

When you love someone, you want to care for them. The same logic is necessary to improve your self-esteem. Self-care can take many forms, like spa days, watching your favorite TV show, reading a good book, or getting a good night’s sleep. Whatever it means for you, you do it. To be in a good relationship with yourself, you need to love yourself. To love yourself, you need to take care of yourself.

Take of Your Finances:

Having a good relationship with yourself means all areas of your life, even your finances. When you’re educated about your finances and feel secure in your financial future, you’re going to be happier. You take the time to get to know your spending habits and don’t live a life where you’re afraid to look at your bank account. Being financially fit and secure is a great way to improve your self-esteem.

Value Alone Time:

You don’t need to be around someone every second of every day. In fact, you enjoy and value your time alone. Learning to be alone is key to having a good relationship with yourself. You spend the most time in your life with yourself, so learn to enjoy your own company. Read your favorite book, go shopping, or get coffee at your favorite coffee shop. Take the time to do the things you like to do simply for your own enjoyment.

Put Yourself First:

You understand the importance of priorities, but you also know when to put yourself first. The only person who truly knows what you need and what speaks to your heart is you. While this doesn’t mean disregarding your friends and family, it does mean that you know when to pencil yourself into your calendar or when to rid your life of toxic friendships. You’re not afraid to do what’s best for you because you know you’re going to do your best work and help others more when you are your best self.

Accept Your Flaws:

No one is perfect and you accept that. As you grow up and grow as a person, at some point everyone will come face to face with their flaws. You know not to be afraid of your flaws and to accept them. You know that your flaws and imperfections make you the person you are. Whether personal or physical, you embrace your uniqueness and use it to grow.

Stay True to Yourself:

At this point in your life, you know yourself. You know your likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. You trust your instincts and follow your heart. Negative external influences don’t sway your thoughts and actions. There will always be negative people and situations that will test your beliefs, but you stick true to who you are. You know to love yourself and the skin you’re in.

By Danielle Koban: Danielle is a freelance writer focused on career and wellness topics. Her work has been featured in Mavenly + Co., Elana Lyn, and Her Agenda. When she’s not writing, she can be found planning her upcoming wedding and hanging out with her German shepherd, Moose. To learn more about Danielle, visit www.danielledoolen.com. 

The post 8 Realistic Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

What to Do When You’re Having a Bad Day:

1. Workout: Going for a run or doing one of the SWEAT app workouts always makes me feel better. As Elle Woods says, “Endorphins make people happy!”

2. Talk to a friend or family member: I always feel better after talking to a friend or family member. It’s so helpful to talk through how I’m feeling either in person or on the phone.

3. Watch a favorite movie or television show: My go-to movie is You’ve Got Mail or any other rom-com and watching an episode or two of 30 Rock or Friends also makes me smile.

4. Get in bed an hour (or two) early and read: I have to read before bed to fall asleep. It helps me unwind and distracts me from thinking about my day and anything that’s upsetting me.

5. Write it down: I keep a list on the Notes app on my phone of things that are upsetting me. Once I write it down, I have an easier time moving past it.

6. Write a gratitude list: It’s also helpful to write a list of a few things that I’m grateful for and happy about.

7. Go for a walk: Taking a long walk in Central Park while listening to music lifts my mood.

8. Take a long shower: When one of my friends is having a bad day, she takes a shower when she gets home to “wash off the day.” I love that saying and I think it does help to come home, take a hot shower, make a healthy dinner, and watch television or a movie before getting in bed and reading.

9. Do something productive: I often feel better after doing something productive like crossing something non-work-related off my to-do list.

10. Cook a healthy dinner: Cooking can be therapeutic. At the end of a long day, I like to take out one of my favorite cookbooks and make a healthy dinner.

11. Meditate or practice mindfulness: Even a short 5- to 10-minute meditation can help you feel calmer and more centered. I like the guided meditations on Peloton, Calm, and Headspace.

12. Spend time with a pet: If you have a pet, you know how much joy they bring. If you have a dog, take them on a long walk. It will be the best part of their day and you’ll feel happier. Whether you have a dog or cat, they’ll enjoy snuggling on the couch.

13. Listen to music or a podcast: Create a playlist of your favorite uplifting songs, listen to your “liked” songs on Spotify, or turn on a lighthearted or inspiring podcast.

14. Treat yourself: This always reminds me of Parks and Rec! Whether it’s making your favorite dessert, watching your favorite movie, or taking a workout class, do something you enjoy.

15. Go to sleep early: Tomorrow is another day.

The post 10 Small Things to Do When You’re Having a Bad Day appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

Preconditioning: 6 weeks

Week 1: 2-mile relaxed run, 2.2-mile surges, 2-mile relaxed run

Week 2: 3-mile long run, 2.2-mile surges, 2-mile relaxed run

Week 3: 2-mile relaxed run, 4-mile long run, 2.2-mile surges

Week 4: 2-mile relaxed run, 5-mile long run, 2.9-mile surges

Week 5: 2-mile relaxed run, 6-mile long run, 2.9-mile surges

Week 6: 2-mile relaxed run, 7-mile long run

Getting Faster: 4 weeks

Week 1: 4-mile interval workout, 2-mile relaxed run, 8-mile long run

Week 2: 3-mile tempo workout, 2-mile relaxed run, 9-mile long run combo

Week 3: 4-mile interval workout, 2-mile relaxed run, 10-mile long run

Week 4: 4-mile interval run, 2-mile relaxed run, 11-mile long run combo

Going Farther: 4 weeks

Week 1: 3-mile tempo workout, 3-mile relaxed run, 9-mile long run

Week 2: 5-mile interval workout, 2-mile relaxed run, 12-mile long run

Week 3: 3-mile relaxed run, 10-mile long run, 5-mile tempo workout

Week 4: 3-mile relaxed run, 13-mile long run combo

Fine Tuning: 3 weeks

Week 1: 5-mile interval workout, 3-mile relaxed run, 11-mile long run

Week 2: 4-mile tempo workout, 5-mile relaxed run, 8-mile long run

Week 3: 4-mile tempo workout, 13.1-mile race day!!!

Wish me luck!

The post My Honest Review of the Runkeeper Half-Marathon Training Plan appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

New Year Reflection Activities

1. Write down your favorite memories from last year.

Write a list of your 10 favorite memories from the previous year and why they made the list. It will help you see the moments that were the most important to you.

2. Create a vision board.

Take out a stack of last year’s magazines and make a vision board that shows your goals and visions for the year. Keep it where you’ll see it often like your fridge or on a pinboard by your desk.

3. Reflect on your goals for last year.

Look back on the goals you set for yourself last year and see what you accomplished. Write down a few sentences about your results and be specific. Take time to celebrate your successes.

4. Set goals for this year.

Write down 10 goals for this year. I like to create different categories of goals to make sure I cover each aspect of my life: career, finances, wellness, and personal. Make your goals  SMART, which stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-based.

5. Take some time to do journaling prompts.

Make a cup of coffee or tea and write the answers to these thought-provoking journaling prompts. These are great for reflecting on the previous year and thinking about what you want to achieve this year.

6. Write down a list of the 10 people who made a positive impact on your life.

Gratitude is beneficial for your mental health. Write down a list of 10 people who made the biggest impact on your life last year. Why are you grateful for them? You could send them a note to say thank you or keep it to yourself but use it as inspiration for how you can be an even stronger friend and family member this year.

7. Choose a word of the year.

Write down a word of the year that you can use to guide you.

8. Write down your favorite self-care activities.

Write a list of your favorite self-care activities like reading a book, taking a bath, going for a run, journaling, and anything else that helps you recharge.

9. Create your perfect morning and evening routines.

Get your day off to a good start and unwind from the day with your perfect morning routine and evening routine. Write down how you want to start and end the day.

10. Declutter your home.

Spark joy by organizing and decluttering your home. You’ll feel more focused and happier in a clean and organized space and you can donate clothes and other items to people who need them.

The post 10 Thoughtful New Year Reflection Ideas appeared first on Elana Lyn Gross.

You’ve been so busy “keeping up with the Joneses” (and the Kardashians) that you’ve forgotten to focus on what would make you happy and how to make it happen. “This is where I see most twenty-somethings get tripped up. They feel this pull to create a life that they ‘think’ they should have, instead of creating a life that feels authentic to them,” says Tess Brigham, a San Francisco-based psychotherapist and “20-something life coach.” Okay, we know that it’s easier said than done, so I asked experts for tips on spotting and—more importantly—overcoming a quarter-life crisis. 

How to know you’re in a crisis mode:

You have “should syndrome”: 

One of the major symptoms of a quarter-life crisis is “should syndrome.” You are so busy thinking about what you “should” do or “should” want that you’re not thinking about what you want. “You find yourself ‘shoulding’ all over your life. You can only think in terms of what your 20s should look like and feel like you failed in some way because your life doesn’t measure up to the fantasy you had in your head about adulthood,” says Brigham.

You have “comparisonitis:”

Your friend just got engaged, your boyfriend just got promoted, and your sister just landed her “dream” job. You are happy for them, really you are, but you can’t help feeling a bit of “I’m-so-happy-for-them-but-why-can’t-that-happen-for-me.” 

You compare yourself to people you are close to and also every single person you follow on social media. “This leads to feelings of envy and worry that you have basically failed at life while everyone else seemingly has no hardships,” says Dana Case, director of operations at the California-based resource for entrepreneurs, MyCorporation. Everyone feels envious sometimes, but if you are in a constant state of jealousy, it’s a sign that you aren’t happy with your life.

You are in a meh state of mind:

You know when there are so many choices on Netflix that you can’t choose? You feel apathetic and none of the decisions feel good enough. That same feeling can apply to your life, but the stakes are much higher than watching something new or watching “Legally Blonde” for the thousandth time. “You don’t feel inspired or excited to do much of anything and while you’re not happy at work, there is nothing else you want to do that’s calling you, so you remain stuck and frustrated with life,” says Brigham.

How to get out of a quarter-life crisis:

Marie Kondo your life: 

It ends up that what helps you organize your junk drawer and your overstuffed dresser can help you get through your quarter-life crisis. Take a tip from Marie Kondo and figure out what “Sparks Joy.” Like how Marie Kondo says to focus on one item at a time, Brigham suggests focusing on one area of your life at a time. Make pro and con lists and ask yourself tough questions or brainstorm what makes you happy and what makes you stressed or sad. “Once you have a clearer idea of what brings you joy and what drains your energy, use these new insights to start to take action,” says Brigham. 

Stop comparing yourself to strangers on the internet: 

Social media is a highlight reel. You are seeing the best moments of someone’s life, not the times they broke up with the person they thought was “the one” or took their “dream” job just to realize that, as Taylor Swift would say, it was a “nightmare dressed as a daydream.”

“It’s our perpetual ‘first date, job interview, dinner with the future in-laws’ selves. Social media is not real life,” reminds Brigham. Take a social media detox or at least limit the amount of time you mindlessly scroll through social media, she says. Use that time to focus on your own life not that of strangers or that guy you took chemistry with—and had chemistry with—in college but haven’t talked to in years.

Phone a friend:

When you are going through a tough time, don’t try to handle everything on your own. “Overcoming usually requires some outside support because an external source helps you get out of your own head, provides objective feedback, and can hold you accountable. This can be a friend, a parent, a life coach, or a therapist,” says Erika Martinez, a Miami-based psychologist. If you think you may have depression or anxiety, she recommends seeing a therapist who can help you feel better.

Ban the “coulda shoulda woulda”:

It’s hard not to fall into the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” spiral. Instead of thinking of what you “should” do or “should’ve” done differently in the past, tune out the noise and tune in. “Stop thinking in terms of what you think your 20s should look like and start thinking about what you need to do today to create more meaning in your life and what will guide you to a more hopeful future,” says Brigham. Ask yourself what you would do or want if other people’s expectations didn’t matter, she says. “We make so many choices based on what we fear other people are thinking. So when you start shoulding all over yourself you need to remember this is your life and you’re the only one who has to live it — so what is it that you, and only you, want to do,” Brigham says. 

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