<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Relationships Archives | Elana Lyn Gross</title>
	<atom:link href="https://elanalyn.com/category/relationships/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>https://elanalyn.com/category/relationships/</link>
	<description></description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 20:53:32 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en-US</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>
	hourly	</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>
	1	</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0</generator>

<image>
	<url>https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cropped-bloguettes-stockthatrocks-planners2017-0002-1.jpg?fit=32%2C32&#038;ssl=1</url>
	<title>Relationships Archives | Elana Lyn Gross</title>
	<link>https://elanalyn.com/category/relationships/</link>
	<width>32</width>
	<height>32</height>
</image> 
<site xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">70391202</site>	<item>
		<title>9 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/21/9-types-of-friends-everyone-needs-in-their-life/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=9-types-of-friends-everyone-needs-in-their-life</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2026 17:09:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://elanalyn.com/?p=23688</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Life is so much better when you have a strong group of friends you can lean on through good times [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/21/9-types-of-friends-everyone-needs-in-their-life/">9 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p data-start="306" data-end="626">Life is so much better when you have a strong group of friends you can lean on through good times and bad. Whether you&#8217;re dating, engaged, or married, it can be easy to fall into the relationship bubble and stop making plans with friends. But life feels so much richer when you have both your partner <em>and</em> your besties.</p>
<p data-start="633" data-end="769">I believe there are nine types of friends everyone needs in their life. (And yes, if you&#8217;re lucky, one person can check multiple boxes.)</p>
<p><strong>A Cheerleader</strong></p>
<p data-start="456" data-end="746">Everyone needs a friend who reminds them of all their strengths and accomplishments. Your cheerleader celebrates your wins, hypes you up when you’re feeling down or insecure, and reminds you how capable you actually are. Bonus points if they also brag about you to other people.</p>
<p data-start="748" data-end="763"><strong>A Confidant</strong></p>
<p data-start="764" data-end="1065">This is a person you can confide in about anything. They get the full story, not the abridged version. They’re one of the first people you text when something amazing happens and one of the first people you call when life falls apart a little. You know they’d answer at 3 a.m. if you really needed them.</p>
<p data-start="1067" data-end="1084"><strong>A Work Friend</strong></p>
<p data-start="1085" data-end="1309">A good work friend can completely change your work life. They’re the person you Slack during long meetings, grab coffee with between projects, vent to after stressful days, and rely on for honest feedback and advice.</p>
<p data-start="1311" data-end="1326"><strong>A Motivator</strong></p>
<p data-start="1327" data-end="1604">Some friends help you become the best version of yourself. A motivator encourages you to go after your goals, whether that’s applying for a promotion, getting healthier, sticking to a budget, or finally starting the thing you keep talking yourself out of doing.</p>
<p data-start="1606" data-end="1621"><strong>A Connector</strong></p>
<p data-start="1622" data-end="1828">This friend somehow knows everyone and genuinely enjoys bringing people together. They’re always organizing dinners, inviting people into the group, or introducing friends who they just know will get along. You&#8217;re likely to meet people you like since you have a close friend in common and, perk, you can all hang out together.</p>
<p data-start="1830" data-end="1847"><strong>An Adventurer</strong></p>
<p data-start="1848" data-end="2083">This is the person you text when you want to do something fun. They’re always up for signing up for a Pickleball class, learning Mahjong, training for a race, or saying yes to whatever you find fun.</p>
<p data-start="2085" data-end="2101"><strong>An Energizer</strong></p>
<p data-start="2102" data-end="2313">You know those people you leave feeling happier after spending time with? That’s an energizer. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and even a quick coffee date or phone call with them can completely shift your mood.</p>
<p data-start="2315" data-end="2326"><strong>A Coach</strong></p>
<p data-start="2327" data-end="2595">A coach helps you hit your goals. They give you the support and encouragement you need. In some cases, they might even teach you their tips and tricks for learning a new skills, whether it&#8217;s running a marathon or training a puppy. They check in on your progress and genuinely want to see you succeed.</p>
<p data-start="2597" data-end="2611"><strong>A Comedian</strong></p>
<p data-start="2612" data-end="2808">Life is a lot easier when you have someone who can make you laugh until you cry. You look forward to hearing their stories and they help you not take things so seriously all the time.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/21/9-types-of-friends-everyone-needs-in-their-life/">9 Types of Friends Everyone Needs in Their Life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">23688</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why Friendship Breakups Can Hurt as Much as Romantic Breakups</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/19/why-friend-breakups-can-hurt-more-than-romantic-ones/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=why-friend-breakups-can-hurt-more-than-romantic-ones</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 May 2026 12:20:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://elanalyn.com/?p=23591</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>When I stopped being friends with one of my former best friends, it was worse than a romantic breakup. When [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/19/why-friend-breakups-can-hurt-more-than-romantic-ones/">Why Friendship Breakups Can Hurt as Much as Romantic Breakups</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When I stopped being friends with one of my former best friends, it was worse than a romantic breakup. When a romantic relationship starts, you know it could end, but I didn’t expect a friendship to fade or fall apart. There’s an expected level of permanence — the phrase is Best Friends Forever, not Best Friends Forever-ish. Our memories, experiences, friendships, and Netflix accounts were intertwined. When I look through photos of my first few years in New York City, she’s in almost all of them. We had gotten through many of the stages of a relationship: the first dates where you really hope they like you too, sleepovers, saying “I love you,” and meeting the parents. I knew I could count on her as a confidant and someone to put down as an emergency contact — until I couldn’t.</p>
<p><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-22921" src="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=350%2C233&#038;ssl=1" alt="three women sitting wooden bench by the tulip flower field" width="350" height="233" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=350%2C233&amp;ssl=1 350w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?resize=1536%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/cifluezylvg.jpg?w=1600&amp;ssl=1 1600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px" /></p>
<p>We didn’t get into a fight. There wasn’t a teary conversation, a &#8216;conscious uncoupling,&#8217; or really even closure. In that way, it was probably as anticlimactic as the end of a close friendship can be. So what happened? There were a lot of small signs that we viewed friendship differently and that the friendship wasn’t as close as I had thought.</p>
<p>Some friendships are simply based on enjoying spending time together. You can have inside jokes that no one else finds funny, go out for long dinners until the restaurant closes, have someone to text your totally random thoughts to, have movie nights with, or explore a new city. And that’s all great — but there’s a line between a close friendship and one that’s fun but surface-level. I’ve found that trust is the main differentiating factor. Without it, a strong friendship’s foundation erodes and an emotional wall is built.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, there are plenty of reasons trust can fade. Maybe you hear them say mean or untrue things about other friends and you know they likely say the same about you, they say hurtful things because they know you well enough to know what will hurt the most, or those private things you shared in confidence weren’t kept confidential.</p>
<p>If you’re going to have a breakup conversation, schedule time for an in-person conversation in a private place, says Amina Shea Tinsley, a New York-based psychotherapist. (If you’re not in the same city, you can do it over the phone, but don’t send a breakup text, please.) Write down what you want to say in advance — you don’t have to stick to the script, but it is helpful to prepare before a tough conversation. Include the benefits of the breakup and avoid blaming your friend.</p>
<p>“Remain civil during the breakup discussion. Explosive anger and shouting matches will make you appear unstable and make it easier for your friend to dismiss your concerns as irrational,” says Tinsley. “You want to appear thoughtful and calm so you present yourself as an ally who wants the best for your friend.”</p>
<p>Listen to their side and have a compassionate conversation instead of a soliloquy.</p>
<p>You could have dozens of surface-level friendships — and it’s likely you did in high school and college — but close friendships are harder to come by and much more valuable. They are the people you know will always be there for you — no matter the severity of the situation or the time of day. It may sound like something from a Hallmark card, but they elevate you, energize you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself — and you do the same for them.</p>
<p>They are the first people you text or call to share good news, bad news, or just random updates from your day-to-day life. (Like that disastrous — but kind of comical — first date you went on.) They know what to say to cheer you up and when to share advice or just listen.</p>
<p>It’s incredibly sad when a friendship ends or changes. You care about the person and miss them.</p>
<p>“Give yourself the freedom to process, grieve, and heal just as you would a romantic relationship,” says Melanie Ross Mills, a Texas-based therapist and author of The Friendship Bond: Creating Bonds That Last.</p>
<p>It’s inevitable that you are going to miss the person and think about them often, especially at first. You may think of them when you pass that restaurant you always used to go to, see something you know they’d love, or wonder what their advice would be for something you’re going through. When that happens and you really want to pick up the phone to call or text, remind yourself why things ended, says Mills.</p>
<p>Stay busy and surround yourself with your close friends. Focus on strengthening those relationships and being a thoughtful and supportive friend.</p>
<p>When a romantic relationship ends, you open yourself up to finding a relationship that’s better for both of you. It’s the same thing for friendship.</p>
<p>“You’ll see what friends are brought into your life because you have not only opened up your heart space for the next friendship, but you’ve also recognized that there’s a big difference between the fun, ‘good time’ friend versus the purposeful, trustworthy friend,” says Mills.</p>
<p>When you’re feeling sad, think about the positive things about your friendship. The ending doesn’t erase the good memories, and you’ve learned about the type of friendships you want to cultivate and the type of friend you want to be.</p>
<p>I slowly remembered the memories and felt happy about the friendship we had instead of only being sad about how it ended. In the case of romantic relationships and friendships, time (and Ben &amp; Jerry’s) cures a broken heart.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2026/05/19/why-friend-breakups-can-hurt-more-than-romantic-ones/">Why Friendship Breakups Can Hurt as Much as Romantic Breakups</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">23591</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Make Work Friends</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2019/03/11/the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2019/03/11/the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Mar 2019 11:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Advancement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=18068</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Let's be friends. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2019/03/11/the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work/">How to Make Work Friends</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you work at least 40 hours a week, you likely spend more time with your colleagues than your friends and family, so focusing on building relationships at work is worthwhile. In fact, a Gallup survey found that people with close work friends are <a title="Gallup: Just 2 in 10 employees have work best friend| TalentCanada.ca" href="https://hbr.org/2022/10/the-power-of-work-friends/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">more successful</a>. According to the survey, people with close pals at work have stronger customer or client relationships, are more productive, make fewer mistakes, and are more innovative. So, who should you befriend at work? Creating a strategy for forging work friendships can seem transactional or opportunistic, but some people should be at the top of your work friends&#8217; wish list. Here&#8217;s who to befriend and how to make friends at work.</p>
<p><strong>Your boss:</strong></p>
<p>Get to know more about your boss than the fact that they always assign time-sensitive projects at 5 p.m. that they need on her desk by 9 a.m. the next day or that they have very strong feelings about the Oxford comma. Your boss is, after all, a person.</p>
<p>How do you become work friends with your boss without overstepping? Start by getting to know your boss&#8217;s professional goals and outlook. Ask what they&#8217;re working on and show interest in the business — not just your role and career trajectory. They&#8217;ll appreciate that you&#8217;re curious about the bigger picture.</p>
<p>You also might get some helpful intel about their priorities and business objectives, so you know how to make a bigger impact. When it comes time for reviews, raises, and promotions, your boss&#8217;s feedback matters the most because they&#8217;re the person who works closest with you — so it&#8217;s crucial that they like the work you do <span style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><em>and </em><a href="https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/getting-on-the-bosss-good-side-hot-jobs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">working</a></span><a title="Get on Your Boss’ Good Side | Monster.com" href="https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/getting-on-the-bosss-good-side-hot-jobs" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> with you</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Power brokers:</strong></p>
<p>Don&#8217;t be competitive with your peers who seem to be on the &#8220;fast track&#8221; for promotions and prime work assignments. Instead of viewing these peers as direct competitors, focus on developing strong working relationships with them. You&#8217;ll produce better work together and can learn from them.</p>
<p>Building relationships at work isn&#8217;t too different from building strong friendships outside of work. Be friendly, collaborative, appreciative, and dependable. Instead of jumping straight into a meeting, make small talk and get to know your coworkers. Remember significant details like their partner and kids&#8217; names, the half-marathon they&#8217;re training for, or the fun family vacation they took.</p>
<p><strong>The office superstar: </strong></p>
<p>Find someone in your department that people respect and whose professional values are similar to your own. Learn what the person is working on and more about their projects.</p>
<p>If you have the time, ask your manager if you can work with the all-star you&#8217;ve identified. You&#8217;ll work on a high-profile project, develop strong relationships with higher-ups, and strengthen your skill set.</p>
<p><strong>A mentor: </strong></p>
<p>When make friends at work, don&#8217;t forget to find a <a title="How a Mentor Can Help You | Monster.com" href="https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/how-to-get-the-most-out-of-a-mentorship-0816" target="_blank" rel="noopener">good mentor</a>. You might already have a mentor outside of the office, like someone in your industry at another company, a favorite professor, or even a family member who always gives you great advice. It&#8217;s also beneficial to have a mentor who works at the same company as you because they&#8217;ve been there and done that.</p>
<p>Mentors can help you learn the unwritten rules of the office, navigate office politics, and give you the advice and support you need to get ahead. Your mentor could be your boss, an influencer, a peer, or someone in the position you hope to have in a few years. Get to know them the same way you did with everyone else, but don&#8217;t make it weird and ask, &#8220;Will you be my mentor?&#8221; It doesn&#8217;t have to be a formal, Facebook-official relationship. It just has to be helpful.</p>
<p><strong>A sponsor:</strong></p>
<p>Although they both help you be more successful at work, a sponsor is different than a mentor. A mentor gives you ample advice and helps you navigate your work life. A sponsor will advocate for you and give you the opportunities you need to get to the next level of your career, like being assigned to a high-profile project.</p>
<p>A sponsor will also be sure to tell executives about your accomplishments and will fight for you to get the promotion you deserve. Get a sponsor by establishing strong working relationships with higher-ups. Give your a-game when you work with them on assignments and long-term projects.</p>
<p><strong>Your staff:</strong></p>
<p>As you start climbing the proverbial corporate ladder, you&#8217;ll get your very own team to manage. Your direct reports will be more motivated and likely more successful if they respect you and you have a good rapport.</p>
<p>Little gestures like saying good morning or asking how their weekend was before you go into all the to-dos for the week will help. Find out their professional goals and help them achieve them, give ample positive and constructive feedback, and show your appreciation.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2019/03/11/the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work/">How to Make Work Friends</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2019/03/11/the-5-people-you-need-to-be-friends-with-at-work/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">18068</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Make Friends in a New City as an Adult</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/17/make-friends-new-city/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=make-friends-new-city</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/17/make-friends-new-city/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Mar 2017 11:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guest Post]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=15869</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number, so call me maybe!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/17/make-friends-new-city/">How to Make Friends in a New City as an Adult</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Moving to a new city is equal parts exciting and terrifying. You’re leaving the life and friends you love&#8230;for the unknown. If you find yourself in a new place full of adventures not knowing where to start making friends, try these seven tips.</p>
<p><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-15870 size-large" src="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/How-to-Make-Friends-in-a-New-City.png?resize=620%2C930&#038;ssl=1" alt="How to Make Friends in a New City" width="620" height="930" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/How-to-Make-Friends-in-a-New-City.png?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/How-to-Make-Friends-in-a-New-City.png?resize=100%2C150&amp;ssl=1 100w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/How-to-Make-Friends-in-a-New-City.png?resize=233%2C350&amp;ssl=1 233w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/How-to-Make-Friends-in-a-New-City.png?w=735&amp;ssl=1 735w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px" /></p>
<p><strong>Do Your Research:</strong></p>
<p>Whether moving within a state or across a country, learn as much as you can about your new city. Learn about the neighborhoods. Where are the young professionals living? Where are the families living? Where are the best places to live for fitness, for nightlife, and other things? Finding a neighborhood to call your own will likely surround you with like-minded individuals that could become your friends. If a must for you is to live within walking distance of a market or a yoga studio, chances are you’ll bump into someone that had the same exact thought. Especially in large cities where neighborhoods are so dynamic, position yourself in a location that matches your life narrative.</p>
<p><strong>Leverage Your Contacts:</strong></p>
<p>Before you make the move, ask your friends and family if they know anyone in the area you’re moving to. You may be lucky enough to find out you have distant family in your new city. Or maybe your friend has a distant contact who has a sister living there. Chances are there are six degrees of separation that could lead you to your new best friend. And we all know it’s easier to meet people when you have an introduction. With social media today, you could even make a connection before you’re living in the same zip code.</p>
<p><strong>Start a Routine:</strong></p>
<p>A simple and easy way to make new friends is to start a routine. If you like to grab a coffee on the weekends, find your new favorite coffee shop and stop in every Sunday morning. Maybe you’ve found a park with a good running trail. Pick a day of the week and stick to it. The more you stick with a routine, the more likely you’ll be to run into the same people. By the second or third encounter, you may even have the courage to introduce yourself. By the fifth or sixth time, maybe you’ll make plans to meet up with your new friend. Consistency is key. Developing a routine is a small step in the right direction to meet new people while enjoying things you were going to do anyway.</p>
<p><strong>Be Active:</strong></p>
<p>After the chaos of moving has settled down and you start to get into a routine, you’ll want to get back to your active lifestyle. This is the perfect opportunity to join a new gym or yoga studio. By attending your favorite classes every week, you’ll meet people with similar schedules and interests. Many cities have fitness organizations and run clubs that welcome everyone. So take advantage of your local resources. Again, consistency is key. You can’t expect to go to the gym a different day and time every week and run into the same people. Find what you like and what works for you and stick to it.</p>
<p><strong>Go Volunteer:</strong></p>
<p>Volunteering for a cause that is near and dear to your heart is a great way to meet people that share the same interests. By getting involved in your community, you’re likely to meet other dog-loving people at your local animal shelter while giving back to a great cause. Jumping into a volunteer schedule may seem overwhelming when you’re trying to get settled in a new city, so it’s okay to start small. Volunteering even once a month will introduce you to new people who are passionate about the same causes you are.</p>
<p><strong>Get Out of Your Comfort Zone:</strong></p>
<p>Don’t be afraid to go to places you may not have visited where you used to live. Just because you had a bad experience at one tapas restaurant before doesn’t mean that the tapas restaurant in your new city won’t be the best experience you’ve ever had. Be open. Try new things. And don’t be afraid to go places by yourself. The scary reality is when you first move, you may spending a lot of time with yourself. Learn to love spending time alone. Don’t be afraid to grab a drink at the bar by yourself. You never know, you may meet someone who’s doing exactly the same thing.</p>
<p><strong>Be Patient:</strong></p>
<p>Remember, making friends takes time. The friendships you have now took years to build, so don’t expect to form a friendship overnight. Don’t force yourself to hang out with people or make friends that are inauthentic to you and your lifestyle. Authentic friendships take time. And remember to make time for yourself along the way. Throwing all of your time and energy into finding new friends can be exhausting. So know when to take a night off to watch Netflix instead of networking. Moving has allowed you to start a new chapter in your life. Relish the new adventures and enjoy the ride.</p>
<p><em>By Danielle Koban: Danielle is a freelance writer with focuses in career and wellness topics. Her work has been featured in Mavenly + Co., Elana Lyn, and Her Agenda. When she’s not writing, she can be found planning her upcoming wedding and hanging out with her German shepherd, Moose. To learn more about Danielle, visit <a href="http://www.danielledoolen.com">www.danielledoolen.com</a>. </em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/17/make-friends-new-city/">How to Make Friends in a New City as an Adult</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/17/make-friends-new-city/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">15869</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>15 Fun Girls’ Night In Ideas</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/13/7-girls-night-activities/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=7-girls-night-activities</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/13/7-girls-night-activities/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Mar 2017 11:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[7Up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girls night in]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=15859</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Movie night, please!</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/13/7-girls-night-activities/">15 Fun Girls’ Night In Ideas</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of my favorite traditions is my annual holiday movie night with friends from college. We all bring our favorite snacks, change into matching pajamas, exchange gifts, chat, and watch newly released holiday movies. I also love having friends over for dinner and a movie, cooking or baking, and throwing game nights. If you&#8217;re planning a night in, here are some girls&#8217; night in activities I highly recommend!</p>
<p><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-21514 size-medium" src="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e.jpg?resize=350%2C233&#038;ssl=1" alt="Baking cupcakes is a fun girls' night in activity." width="350" height="233" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C233&amp;ssl=1 350w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?resize=1536%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/81n-kfwsf7e-scaled.jpg?w=2400&amp;ssl=1 2400w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px" /></p>
<h2>15 Girls&#8217; Night In Activities</h2>
<p><strong>1. </strong><strong>Movie night: </strong>Watch the newest buzzworthy movie or have a themed movie marathon like watching Oscar-nominated movies, classic rom-coms, or your favorite movies from the early 2000s. Make a big bowl of popcorn and have everyone bring their favorite movie theater snack.</p>
<p><strong>2. Cooking and baking: </strong>Instead of going out for dinner, invite friends over and cook dinner and dessert together. It&#8217;s a fun activity, less expensive than going out, and you can linger as long as you want.</p>
<p><strong>3. Potluck:</strong> Have everyone cook or bake at home and bring their dish. One of my friends hosts a cookbook club party and once a month people buy or rent the same cookbook, bring over a recipe, and discuss their favorites. You could also have a themed potluck, like a holiday cookie bake-off or Friendsgiving.</p>
<p><strong>4. Spa night: </strong>Catch up and do a face mask, mani-pedi, and try your favorite beauty gadgets like an LED face mask. Ask everyone to bring over their favorite beauty product or gadget so you discover something new.</p>
<p><strong>5. DIY night: </strong>Choose a fun DIY project to do together like making tote bags, tie-dying clothes, decorating mugs, or making friendship bracelets.</p>
<p><strong>7. Book club:</strong> Create a monthly book club with friends. You could have a themed book club and always choose books from a specific genre or mix it up each month.</p>
<p><strong>8. Take a class: </strong>If you&#8217;re hosting a large group, like a bachelorette weekend, consider hiring someone to teach a class. I think it would be fun to do a cooking class, workout class, paint-and-sip class, floral arrangement class, or wine tasting.</p>
<p><strong>9. Hobby night: </strong>If you have a group of friends with a similar hobby like needlepoint or baking, do the activity together.</p>
<p><strong>10. Game night:</strong> Invite a group of friends or couples over for a game night. You could play classic board games, card games, or trivia games. You could also play party games. There are a lot of fun conversation-starter games that I&#8217;d like to try. It would also be fun to do custom trivia quizzes to see how well you know your friends, the host, or your partner.</p>
<p><strong>11. Sleepover party:</strong> When was the last time you had friends over for a sleepover? I loved having sleepovers growing up and it would be so much fun to have one as an adult!</p>
<p><strong>12. PowerPoint party:</strong> There&#8217;s a growing trend in throwing PowerPoint parties where everyone comes with a slide on a set topic. You could each present something under and overrated, share a guilty pleasure, a dating year-in-review if people in your friend group are single, or your starter kit.</p>
<p><strong>13. TV night:</strong> If there is a show you love, get together to watch it every week or watch the finale together. In addition to talking about &#8220;Love is Blind,&#8221; &#8220;The Bachelor,&#8221; &#8220;Bachelorette,&#8221;  &#8220;Married at First Site,&#8221; and other shows in your group text, watch together. I think it would also be fun to watch nostalgic shows together like &#8220;Dawson&#8217;s Creek,&#8221; &#8220;One Tree Hill,&#8221; &#8220;Gilmore Girls,&#8221; &#8220;Sex in the City,&#8221; &#8220;Felicity,&#8221; or &#8220;The OC.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>14. Tastings: </strong>You could ask everyone to bring their favorite bottle of wine and have a wine tasting, a creative cocktail or mocktail, or cheese. Everyone could leave with a new favorite!</p>
<p><strong>15. Murder Mystery: </strong>Buy a Murder Mystery game and ask everyone to dress up as their characters. It&#8217;s fun and a great way to break the ice if you&#8217;re hosting people who don&#8217;t know each other yet.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/13/7-girls-night-activities/">15 Fun Girls’ Night In Ideas</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2017/03/13/7-girls-night-activities/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">15859</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Build a Strong Mentorship Circle</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2016/12/23/how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2016/12/23/how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Dec 2016 12:00:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career Advancement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentorship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentorship circle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wellness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=15320</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I get by with a little help from my friends. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/12/23/how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle/">How to Build a Strong Mentorship Circle</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Finding a mentor is all the buzz these days, especially for women in the workplace. And yes, there’s no doubt that having a mentor can be important to your development both personally and professionally, but finding that superstar mentor can also put a lot of pressure on everyone involved. As research shows, the reality is that a single mentor can’t fulfill all your needs or have the time or capacity to be your only source of support. Experts in the field of positive psychology and mentorship suggest that instead of looking for a mentor, it helps to build a circle of support instead. I like to think of this as a mentorship circle.</p>
<p>People in your mentorship circle are individuals who have taken an active interest in your career success — this can include friends, family, colleagues, professors, coaches, and even previous employers. Considering that we learn and develop through lots of relationships in our lives, focusing on finding one mentor limits your personal growth. By cultivating multiple relationships in your network, you can cover more ground and gain both career and psychosocial support. Career support comes from people who provide you with coaching, exposure, and visibility in your field of interest, and the right amount of challenge. Psychosocial support comes from people who provide you with acceptance and confirmation, friendship, and personal counsel.</p>
<p>So, what does a strong mentorship circle look like? The first thing to remember is that a bigger circle is not always better; what matters is the quality of each relationship. You want to leave enough time and energy to invest in each relationship deeply and fully; otherwise, you’ll be left with a lot of surface-level relationships. The next thing to consider is how reciprocal your relationships are. It is true that the nature of a mentoring relationship often involves the older, more experienced person is the one who offers the most guidance, but there is always something that you can be offering as well. The more you are both investing in the relationship and getting from each other, the more committed you’ll both be, because the relationship then becomes mutually beneficial. Lastly, think about the diversity of your circle. Does everyone in your circle work in the same industry? If so, chances are you’ll be getting a lot of overlapping resources and redundant information. The more diverse your circle, the greater exposure you’ll have to a range of perspectives and experiences.</p>
<p>Here are some ways to enhance your current circle of relationships and take charge of your own development:</p>
<p><strong>Map Out Your Current Circle:</strong></p>
<p>In the past year, who are two people who have taken part in your successes? Who has helped advance your career? Who has provided personal support for you? Who genuinely cares about your personal and professional development?</p>
<p><strong>Be Proactive:<br />
</strong><br />
Reach out to people in your circle often and broadly. This means not relying solely on yourself to get things done and seizing opportunities to learn from other people by asking for information, help, and support. Also, don’t limit yourself to people in your immediate circle of friends or in your department at work. Cross those boundaries and connect with someone you may not think you’d have anything in common with at first sight.</p>
<p><strong>Manage Your Interactions:<br />
</strong><br />
This refers to the importance of building trust and leaving a good impression. This may be a no-brainer but keep in touch with the people in your circle regularly. Investing in the relationship and showing that you care cultivates a sense of trust. Even if you have no urgent reason for reaching out, it never hurts to stay in touch. Let them know how their most recent advice has been helpful, and keep them informed of your accomplishments while inquiring about theirs as well.</p>
<p><strong>Have a Relational Attitude:<br />
</strong><br />
This means you believe it is okay to ask for help and see it as a strength rather than a weakness. Being comfortable with vulnerability and sharing challenges you face will only help deepen your relationships and identify what type of support you need. Enlisting others in your pursuits and asking for help will only get you closer to achieving your goals as long as you’ve attempted to solve the problem first.</p>
<p><strong>Show Genuine Interest:<br />
</strong><br />
Be aware of your social skills and interact mindfully, meaningfully, and maturely. Listen. Empathize. Offer suggestions. Ask questions. This leaves people wanting to continue to be a part of your journey toward success and cultivates a high-quality relationship that both people will find fulfilling and supportive.</p>
<p><em>By Tallia Deljou. This post was originally published on <a href="http://mavenly.co/mavenly-co/mentorship-circles">Mavenly</a></em><i>.</i></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/12/23/how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle/">How to Build a Strong Mentorship Circle</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2016/12/23/how-to-find-your-mentorship-circle/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">15320</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Sound Confident (Even When You&#8217;re Not)</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/18/sound-confident-even-youre-not/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=sound-confident-even-youre-not</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/18/sound-confident-even-youre-not/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jul 2016 11:00:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living well]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on the job]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=14544</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Confidence is a crucial component of personal and professional success. Remember these tips next time you are in need of a jolt of self-confidence.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/18/sound-confident-even-youre-not/">How to Sound Confident (Even When You&#8217;re Not)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What if you could feel more confident and composed in two minutes? I have a fast routine that is an instant confidence boost. I’ve been a power pose proponent since watching <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk</a>. Power poses have been proven to chemically alter your body and raise your confidence. I’ve done The Wonder Woman pose before every interview or big meeting. I always arrive a few minutes early and duck into the bathroom to check my makeup and do a quick power pose. Yes, it may look silly to stand with my arms above my head like I just completed a complicated gymnastics routine at the Olympics, but it works. I leave the bathroom feeling more confident and ready to make a good impression. As Cuddy says, “D<span class="talk-transcript__fragment">on’t fake it till you make it.</span><span class="talk-transcript__fragment"> Fake it till you become it.</span> <span class="talk-transcript__fragment">Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.” </span>I spoke to successful women to find out their top tips for sounding confident.</p>
<p><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-19188" src="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash.jpg?resize=620%2C414&#038;ssl=1" alt="" width="620" height="414" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C233&amp;ssl=1 350w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=1536%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/norbert-levajsics-D97n3LR5uN8-unsplash-scaled.jpg?w=2400&amp;ssl=1 2400w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px" /></p>
<p><strong>Know your goal.</strong></p>
<p>Decide what you want to achieve as a result of the conversation or presentation. “When you want to make an argument or validate an opinion, my trick to sounding confident, even if it’s an intimidating room, is to always speak in three’s. Create three short bullets to emphasize your point and don’t talk in circles getting there,” says Eileen Carey, the CEO of Glassbreakers.</p>
<p><strong>Practice out loud.</strong></p>
<p>Lisa Arbetter the editor in chief of <em>StyleWatch</em>, agrees that preparation is key, and recommends rehearsing out loud, rather than silently. “Rehearsing out loud helps me find phrases I may stumble over and also gives me a better sense of timing. Plus, because I’ve heard myself saying the words, I feel more relaxed,” she notes.</p>
<p><strong>Speak clearly.</strong></p>
<p>Use an authoritative voice, speak slowly, and remove <a href="http://www.forbes.com/pictures/lmj45klif/fillers-and-qualifiers-and-jargon-oh-my/#68bfa91b644a" target="_self" rel="noopener">filler words and qualifiers</a>. As Christi Cannon, senior vice president of marketing and development at <a href="http://www.gardencitygroup.com/about" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Garden City Group</a> says, “When you feel uncertain, it can be almost a compulsion to give yourself an out by qualifying your statements with an ‘in my opinion’ or ‘I think’ or ‘in my experience.’ You’re smart, you’re prepared, and you are there precisely to talk about your experience. Present your material with conviction and make no apologies for it!”</p>
<div class="article-text clearfix">
<div class="article-injected-body ng-scope">
<p><strong>Pay attention to your body language.</strong></p>
<p>Show that you are confident and poised by maintaining good posture. A few tips: Maintain eye contact, sit up straight, and take up space. Instead of letting your shoulders cave in, squeezing your arms tight to your body, or crossing your arms, keep them relaxed to your sides or on the table. You don’t want to look like you’re starting a turf war, but you should look like you feel confident in your surroundings. And your <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/03/12/15-body-language-blunders-successful-people-never-make/#5fc06bed740a" target="_self" rel="noopener">body language</a> doesn’t just affect the way people see you—it can also change the way you feel about yourself.</p>
<p><strong>Read the room.</strong></p>
<p>Take cues from your audience. As Johanna Lanus, the founder and CEO of Work With Balance, explains, “Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it.” Lanus admits that the first time she pitched a potential corporate client, she spent the first minute of her presentation looking down at her prepared speech and then realized that she had completely lost her audience. She immediately turned the paper over and made eye contact with the executives. She looked more confident and became more comfortable. Unsurprisingly, the client loved the presentation and signed up for a program that day.</p>
<p><strong>Be authentic.</strong></p>
<p>Jennifer McCloskey and Sahili Sheth, cofounders of <a href="http://theconsideredcollection.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Considered Collection</a>, stress the importance of being authentic. “Authenticity is the pillar of confidence. It comes from deep within ourselves and propels us forward in spite of any momentary or situational insecurity we might feel. Being authentic acknowledges where we are in our lives, supporting and celebrating both our strengths and our weaknesses,” they say. Authenticity simultaneously makes us feel more confident and makes others perceive us as more self-assured. “This results in a positive, honest energy that others pick up on immediately. So much so that even if we feel that our confidence is lacking, being true to our authentic selves always serves to give us a sense of confidence in the eyes of others because we embrace all that we do and do not know, and choose to be open and authentic about it,” they explain.</p>
<p id="article-0-inread" class="inread ng-isolate-scope inread-active"> <strong>Take some pressure off.</strong></p>
<p>“Before an intimidating conversation, I always remind myself that I will be the same person before and after the conversation, no matter the outcome,” says Olivia Fay, the founder and creative director of <a href="http://rallier.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rallier</a>. “It’s important to create space between how people react to you and who you know you are. That space can relieve a bit of pressure that innately creates more self-confidence.”</p>
<p class="tweet_line"><span class="tweet_quote">Confidence is a crucial component of personal and professional success.</span> Remember these tips next time you are in need of a jolt of self-confidence.</p>
<p class="tweet_line"><em>I originally wrote this <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/2016/07/12/how-to-sound-confident/2/#1aff58c14deb">post</a> for my Forbes column.<br />
</em></p>
<p class="vestpocket">P.S.  Now I really want to read Amy Cuddy&#8217;s book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316256579/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0316256579&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=elan06-20&amp;linkId=3c20c20382f31103a64e843cfea6ea1d">Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges</a>.</p>
</div>
</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/18/sound-confident-even-youre-not/">How to Sound Confident (Even When You&#8217;re Not)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/18/sound-confident-even-youre-not/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>23</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">14544</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Signs of a Toxic Friendship</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/08/identify-toxic-friendship/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=identify-toxic-friendship</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/08/identify-toxic-friendship/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Jul 2016 11:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wellness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living well]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toxic friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toxic friendships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=14531</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>You're toxic. I'm slipping under.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/08/identify-toxic-friendship/">Signs of a Toxic Friendship</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A toxic friendship is very different from a friend needing a safe place to share her hurts, feelings, concerns, and frustrations. Webster defines toxic as, “extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful.” Some of us are engaging in toxic friendships without realizing how unhealthy they are to our hearts, minds, spirits, and emotions.</p>
<p>Admitting that we are engaging in toxic friendships can be challenging because we enjoy their company. We have fun when it’s girl&#8217;s night out. They make us laugh. They fill a need in our lives. Unfortunately, it can be at the expense of our growth and well-being. We wrestle with feeling stifled, burdened, enmeshed, used, and sometimes toxic ourselves. It might be time to assess “the one” that leaves us drained and frustrated because once we admit that we are engaging in a toxic friendship, freedom awaits.</p>
<p>As dramatic as it might sound, replacing toxic friendships with healthy ones can be life-changing. In the beginning, the transition will take courage, effort, and wisdom as we replace old habits and patterns with new ones. However, once we start experiencing the love, joy, peace, and security of our healthy friendships, we will have less space in our lives for toxic ones.</p>
<p><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-large wp-image-18305" src="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?resize=620%2C414&#038;ssl=1" alt="" width="620" height="414" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?resize=350%2C233&amp;ssl=1 350w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?w=2400&amp;ssl=1 2400w, https://i0.wp.com/elanalyn.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/kobu-agency-685117-unsplash.jpg?w=3600&amp;ssl=1 3600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px" /></p>
<p><em>By Melanie Mills</em></p>
<p><b><i>How do I know if I’m engaging in a toxic friendship?</i></b></p>
<p>Rate the frequency on a scale of 1 to 10.</p>
<p>1 never 5 sometimes 10 always</p>
<p>_____ I feel that my needs are overlooked.</p>
<p>_____ I feel overly stressed after I’ve been in her presence.</p>
<p>_____ I feel this friendship holds me back from being myself.</p>
<p>_____ I find myself “editing” what I say for fear of offending, hurting her feelings, or upsetting her.</p>
<p>_____ I am the one that rescues her mentally, emotionally,</p>
<p>financially, physically.</p>
<p>_____ She does not follow through with her commitments.</p>
<p>_____ I feel taken for granted.</p>
<p>_____ I find myself doing things when I am with her that I am not comfortable with doing.</p>
<p>_____ She cuts me down more than she encourages me.</p>
<p>_____ I feel unappreciated and taken for granted.</p>
<p>_____ I leave her presence feeling worse about myself.</p>
<p>_____ I do not feel “good enough” when I am with her.</p>
<p>_____ I feel pressured to spend more money than I am</p>
<p>comfortable with when I am with her.</p>
<p>_____ I loan her money that I do not have or want to loan her.</p>
<p>_____ I ignore my other friends/family to meet her needs.</p>
<p>_____ She is verbally or emotionally abusive to me.</p>
<p>_____ My other friends express concern over our friendship.</p>
<p>_____ I get “dropped in the grease” when better plans come</p>
<p>up.</p>
<p>_____ I feel trapped in this friendship.</p>
<p>_____ There is never true resolution when there is conflict.</p>
<p>_____ She holds a grudge when I make a mistake or do not do what she expects me to do.</p>
<p>_____ I allow her to degrade, ignore, abuse me.</p>
<p>_____ She puts me down in front of others.</p>
<p>_____ I feel I am in a one-sided friendship.</p>
<p>_____ I am the listener in the friendship.</p>
<p>_____ Drama, trouble, problems often surround her life.</p>
<p>_____ I feel the friendship is all about her.</p>
<p>_____ She expects others to take care of her responsibilities.</p>
<p>_____ I do not depend on her when I am sad, upset, or hurt.</p>
<p>_____ I feel that my needs in the friendship do not get met.</p>
<p>_____ I feel guilty asking for helping or sharing my own</p>
<p>problems.</p>
<p>_____ Total</p>
<p>77 &#8211; 155 It’s highly possible you are engaging in an unhealthy toxic friendship.</p>
<p>16 &#8211; 76 Pay attention to your friendship. Start looking at the quality of this relationship. Consider whether or not she is helping become a better version of yourself or if she is hindering you.</p>
<p>10 &#8211; 15 No friendship is perfect. There are areas for improvement. Communication, forgiveness, grace, and honesty can help you both relate in healthier ways, resulting in a richer relationship.</p>
<p>0 &#8211; 10 Continue your friendship as desired. Make an effort to listen, love, share, and care for one another.</p>
<p><b><i>Steps to Freedom in Friendship</i></b></p>
<p>Step 1: Admit that you are involved in a toxic friendship.</p>
<p>Step 2: Assume responsibility for your role in the friendship.</p>
<p>Step 3: Acknowledge unhealthy patterns of co-dependence, people-pleasing, acquiescing, and fear of rejection.</p>
<p>Step 4: Decide whether or not this friendship is worth salvaging. If so, share with your friend what you are learning about yourself. Explain your concerns in regards to how you both are relating. Together, decide if you can grow together. Her response will tell you how open or closed she is to your desire to get healthier.</p>
<p>Step 5: Choose to focus on your well-being.</p>
<p>Step 6: Start saying no when needed and stand firm.</p>
<p>Step 7: Let go and let grow. Give your toxic friend the space to grow.</p>
<p>Step 6: Pursue new or healthy friendships that will take the place of the energy you invested in your toxic friend.</p>
<p><strong>What are your tips for dealing with toxic friendships?</strong></p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.melanierossmills.com/">Dr. Melanie Ross Mills</a> is the creator of the Life Bond book series, which includes The Friendship Bond, The Couples Bond, and The Identity Bond. Through her counseling sessions, books, public speaking, and workshops she instigates insightful dialogue and encourages honest self-reflection. Dr. Mills enjoys serving as a FOX News Radio Relationship Expert. She holds a degree in temperament psychology. </em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/08/identify-toxic-friendship/">Signs of a Toxic Friendship</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2016/07/08/identify-toxic-friendship/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">14531</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Best Questions to Ask When You Meet Someone New</title>
		<link>https://elanalyn.com/2016/06/13/best-questions-ask-networking-events/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=best-questions-ask-networking-events</link>
					<comments>https://elanalyn.com/2016/06/13/best-questions-ask-networking-events/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Elana Lyn Gross]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2016 11:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[networking]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://elanalyn.com/?p=14303</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Next time you’re at a networking event, you’ll be equipped to start conversations that will forge genuine relationships.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/06/13/best-questions-ask-networking-events/">The Best Questions to Ask When You Meet Someone New</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If you survey a room and ask if they would rather spend the evening with a group of close friends or a group of strangers, you can almost guarantee that they would unequivocally choose to spend time with friends. Your perception of attending a networking event may be wearing a name tag, struggling to start or maintain a conversation, making mindless <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2015/12/14/better-small-talk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">small talk</a> and receiving business cards from people you may not have the intention of emailing or seeing again. I get it. I used to feel the same way until I learned to <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/hennainam/2015/07/14/how-women-can-succeed-by-networking-authentically/#368ef33e63dd" target="_self" rel="noopener">network authentically</a>. I started asking questions that made the conversation insightful and interesting and left me feeling inspired and motivated to connect. I’ve met people who have become close friends, mentors, employers and clients. I reached out to a few successful women to find out the best questions to ask at networking events.</p>
<p><strong>1. Where do you recommend I go while I’m here?</strong></p>
<p>Jane Mosbacher Morris, the founder and CEO of <a href="https://www.tothemarket.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">To The Market</a>, a social enterprise that sells goods made by survivors of conflict, abuse and disease, travels often. She enjoys asking local businesswomen and artisans about “their life experiences and the challenges that they have overcome as well as their insights on food and highlights that are off the beaten path.” As a result, Jane gains insights for her business and her travels.</p>
<p><strong>2. How did you hear about this event?</strong></p>
<p>Lauren McGoodwin, the founder and CEO of the career advice resource, <a href="http://www.careercontessa.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Career Contessa</a>, asks people how they heard about the event or know the host. As she says, “This question gives us some common ground and allows the other person to ask me a question back. I find that after we both get chatting we’re able to find other topics to keep the conversation going.” Rhonesha Byng, the founder of <a href="http://heragenda.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Her Agenda</a>, a digital media platform for millennials asks the same question because it tells her something about the person. “If the person knows the speaker, you can ask about the connection. If they found out about it on social media, you can talk to them about social media. If they attended the event for inspiration or knowledge, you can ask about that,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>3. What is on your reading list?</strong></p>
<p>Courtney Grace Peterson, the founder of Logic and Grace, a digital communications consultancy asks people for book recommendations. She finds that this question leads to a conversation about a new business strategy book or a great novel and “provides common ground to chat about something you’re passionate about or something want to learn or explore.”</p>
<p><strong>4. What is your favorite thing to do?</strong></p>
<p>Kate Gremillion, the founder of <a href="http://mavenly.co/blog-1/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Mavenly and Co</a>., a resource for young women designing a career and lifestyle with purpose likes to ask people about their favorite things. “People not only love talking about themselves, but love talking about what lights them up,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>5. Where are you from? </strong></p>
<p>Emily Merrell is the founder of <a href="http://sixdegreessociety.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Six Degrees Society</a>, a networking organization that provides curated matches during each event. Emily asks people where they are from and where they went to college. “These questions help me get a better sense of who they are and what to talk about. I try to see if we have a friend in common. It usually helps break the ice if we do,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>6. What did you think about the event?</strong></p>
<p>Jaime Petkanics, the founder of the job search consultancy, <a href="http://www.prepary.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Prepary</a>, likes to attend networking events with a speaker, panel or educational component. Jaime asks people about their main takeaways from the event.</p>
<p><strong>7. What is your story? </strong></p>
<p>Nur-E Farhana Rahman, the co-founder of Knotty Gal, a jewelry company that raises funds for the Bhandari Girls’ School in Bangladesh, asks people about their story. She previously asked people what they do, but then the children’s book “The Little Prince” made her rethink her approach. Nur-E was inspired by the drawing of the boa constrictor eating the elephant. She says that the question is the equivalent of being one of the adults who sees the hat, not the boa constrictor eating the elephant.  Now she asks people to tell her their story. ”Everyone has a story and it lets people share whatever they’d like to share, whether that includes their work or not,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>8. How did you decide to do what you do?</strong></p>
<p>Deena Baikowitz, co-founder and chief networking officer of the networking coaching company, <a href="http://fireballnetwork.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fireball Network</a>, asks people how they chose their career path because “they usually reveal a pivotal life experience, talk about their passions and talents or describe someone special who inspired them.” “Asking why someone does what they do is a wonderful way to learn, share and connect in a meaningful way,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>9. What are some of your go-to resources for getting guidance in your field of work?</strong></p>
<p>Dr. Domniki Demetriadou, a partner and director of recruitment and assessment services at <a href="http://www.workplacegroup.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The WorkPlace Group</a>, asks people about their go-to resources for their industry. “You may learn sources that are relevant to your own work or gain insights to industries you are unfamiliar with,” she says.</p>
<p><strong>10. How can I be helpful to you right now? </strong></p>
<p>Danielle Harlan, Ph.D., the founder and CEO of <a href="http://www.leadershipandhumanpotential.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Center for Advancing Leadership and Human Potential</a>, asks people how she can be most helpful to them. She found she would have great conversations with people and wonder if there was something she could have done to help them personally or professionally. Instead of wondering, she asks and has found that people are pleasantly surprised and respond with their answer. She never asks people what they do because she thinks it, ”signals that the asker is really only interested in assessing the respondent’s power and status so that they can determine whether they’ll be ‘useful’ to speak with.” Instead, she makes herself useful to other people which leads to more enjoyable, interesting and authentic networking experiences.</p>
<p>I ask people what they like to do instead of what they do. The question identifies what clinical psychologist <a href="https://www.ted.com/speakers/meg_jay" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Meg Jay</a> calls identity capital: “How we build ourselves — bit by bit, over time.” It uncovers what they care about and what makes them unique and leads to a more insightful and exciting conversation.</p>
<p>Next time you’re at a networking event, you’ll be equipped to start conversations that will forge genuine relationships.</p>
<p><em>I originally wrote this post for <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/2016/05/30/the-best-questions-to-ask-at-networking-events/#2c43299052d5">Forbes</a>. Read my <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/elanagross/#6c54b1ff7e68">column</a>!<br />
</em></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://elanalyn.com/2016/06/13/best-questions-ask-networking-events/">The Best Questions to Ask When You Meet Someone New</a> appeared first on <a href="https://elanalyn.com">Elana Lyn Gross</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
					<wfw:commentRss>https://elanalyn.com/2016/06/13/best-questions-ask-networking-events/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
			<slash:comments>18</slash:comments>
		
		
		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">14303</post-id>	</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
