I knew that post grad life would be different than college but I didn’t know just how different it would be until I started taking life advice from stock photos. Stock photos are very reputable sources for advice as evident by the following images.
1. When you graduate from college and move into your first apartment you will only have WIFI in the bathroom. You will also have a cat named Salem Saberhagen who was a former witch and talks. You’ll become a cat person, but even your cat won’t like you.
2. You won’t be able to afford both rent and your cell phone bill so you will resort to unsuccessfully attempting to use people’s feet to phone home. You will also become a hipster whether or not you live in Bushwick or, more accurately, a cross between a hipster and Mr. Rogers.
3. Your LinkedIn profile, your OkCupid profile, and your Tinder profile will get more views if you have this as your profile picture. Fine Print: I can neither confirm nor deny that this will lead to more jobs, dates, and or marriages than Match.com.
4. Your roommate won’t be impressed with the movie Her because she’s been dating her computer for years.
5. If you work in investment banking you’ll work so many hours that you’ll learn to take all your calls by a window since that is the only way you will see the outdoors. Like, ever.
8. When you go on job interviews, the other candidates will be deflated blow up dolls, but they’ll still get the job. You will gain some points for looking spiffy in an argyle sweater and jeans while carrying a brief case (an item that no one under 30 years old has used since 1988).
9. Company culture is a buzzword right now. Teams are implementing open offices, team yoga, work from home policies, and office pet policies, but HR directors should look no further when choosing a plan for company culture – this team has got it figured out. As the stock photo description author states, “Making work fun a Group of Mature Adults taking a play Break in a modern office to get ideas flowing.”
10.This is what, “crazy day at the office – people managing a hectic business day,” looks like.
That’s all. Tune in next time for more intel on life after college.
P.S. This one time I took fashion advice from a stock photo. It worked out really well for me.